Texts
by starsandseas
Summary: "This group chat has just been made but I already know it's cursed." / The one time Percy decided to make a group chat [all canon ships and a bit of Theyna]
1. Chapter 1

**So before you guys read this, I just want you guys to know a few things. First off, I write half of these chapters when it's 4am and I want a big laugh, so some chapters may be shitty and full of 4am humor. This story is all texts, no paragraphs. The phones and the texting app were both made by Leo, and all the demigods are in college (some at Camp Jupiter and some in the mortal world). There's no plot at all, just teenagers being teenagers. Right now I'm only adding 13 characters, and they are:**

 **Percy ~ perseaus (SEA what I did there? ;) )**

 **Annabeth ~ smarter than you (she is)**

 **Piper ~ McPiper**

 **Jason ~ Sparky sparky**

 **Frank ~ goldfish (do you guys remember that one scene in SoN?)**

 **Hazel ~ g(old)**

 **Leo ~ mcshizzle (supersized mcshizzle! Also matching with Piper!)**

 **Nico ~ spooky scary skeletons**

 **Reyna ~ Reyst in peace**

 **Grover ~ save the environment fuckers (gods I miss Grover)**

 **Will ~ Wouldiwas**

 **Calypso ~ calala (calalalalalalalypso)**

 **Rachel ~ monarachel (Monalisa who)**

 **I hope you enjoy this story!**

 **Disclaimer:I don't own the riordanverse.**

—

[perseaus made the group chat: Heroes of Olympuns]

[perseaus added monarachel, save the environment fuckers, smarter than you, and 9 others]

Perseaus: heyyyyy

[spooky scary skeletons left the group chat]

[perseaus added spooky scary skeletons]

Spooky scary skeletons: you guys already talk too much when we're out together

Spooky scary skeletons: why do you guys have to make me suffer when you guys are far, far away too

Perseaus: because that's what good friends do

Smarter than you: this gc has just been made but I already know it's cursed

[smarter than you is offline]

Perseaus: wow ok

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

Perseaus: no one wants to talk to me :''(

Perseaus: wow ok no one's answering

Perseaus: rude

[perseaus is offline]


	2. Chapter 2

[Online:

Perseaus

Spooky Scary Skeletons

Smarter than you

McPiper

Sparky Sparky

Wouldiwas]

Perseaus: why are my hands cold but not the rest of me

Spooky scary skeletons: the ghosts are holding your hands

Perseaus: How romantic

Perseaus: also my nose is cold

Smarter than you: didn't you just say the rest of you was warm?

McPiper: put your nose in the oven

Perseaus: ok

Wouldiwas: Percy are you out in the snow

Perseaus: ...maybe

Spooky scary skeletons: that explains a lot

Smarter than you: Percy i stg I have a lot on my plate and I'm not ready to deal with a sick boyfriend

Perseaus: I'm a son of Poseidon I'm immuuuuuuuuune to the weather

Perseaus: the cold never bothered me anyway

Wouldiwas: I just came to get him he's sneezing a lot

Perseaus: I'm fine

Wouldiwas: I'm taking him to Annabeth and his dorm

Perseaus: The weather doesn't affect me tho since I'm a son of Poseidon I'm immune to the cold

Wouldiwas: no the fuck you aren't

Smarter than you: no the fuck you aren't

McPiper: no the fuck you aren't

Sparky sparky: no the duck you aren't

Sparky sparky: fuck*

Sparky sparky: ducking typos

Sparky sparky: shit

Perseaus: it'd be better if you just stopped, sparky sparky boom man

Spooky scary skeletons: you watch Avatar?

McPiper: ^

Perseaus: ummm yeah?

Perseaus: it's only the best cartoon to ever exist

Smarter than you: I don't even like cartoons but I have to admit Avatar's pretty cool

Perseaus: IM THE AVATAR

McPiper: in your fucking dreams pers

Perseaus: but i control air and water and also my dad's the earth shaker and I've been trying to practice to

Perseaus: yknow

Perseaus: shake the earth

Perseaus: all I gotta learn is firebending now

Spooky scary skeletons: as much as I don't want to, I have to admit he has a point

Sparky sparky: does that make me an airbender

Spooky scary skeletons: I guess

Wouldiwas: just don't go and die on us

Sparky sparky: I make no promises

Smarter than you: but wouldn't Jason bea lightning bender

Wouldiwas: Crap Anna's right

Smarter than you: don't ever call me that again

Wouldiwas: ok Anna

[Reyst in peace is online]

Reyst in peace: what the fuck even is this conversation

Perseaus: FUCK THERE SHOULDNT BE TWO AVATARS

Wouldiwas: oh hey rey

McPiper: Rey Rey you you

Perseaus: I don't like your pipesfriend

Smarter than you: No way no way

Sparky sparky: I think you need a new one

Spooky scary skeletons: Rey Rey you you

Perseaus: I can be your reyfriiiieeend

Reyst in peace: are you guys going to make fun of me for myold crush on Jason tillthe day I die

Perseaus: till the day you Reyst in peace 

Reyst in peace: I can't believe I had a crush on you too

[reyst in peace is offline]

Spooky scary skeletons: h a you deserved it

Perseaus: stfu Nico

Spooky scary skeletons: :))

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

Wouldiwas: Crap now that he isn't busy texting I should go see if he decided to kill someone

Perseaus: wow Will is boyfriend goals

Wouldiwas: I know :)

[wouldiwas is offline]

McPiper: well all the fun's gone

McPiper: well sparky sparky boom man and smartie are still here but Percy's gonna make this group chatboring

Perseaus: I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

Smarter than you: and you're not going out for another week except for classes because you're sick

Perseaus: but I'm immune!

Smarter than you: no the duck you aren't

Smarter than you: fuck*

Smarter than you: shit typos are contagious

McPiper: byyyyye sisters

[McPiper is offline]

[sparky sparky is offline]

Perseaus: hey Annabeth

Perseaus: we're alone ;))

Smarter than you: stop trying to sext in the group chat

[smarter than you is offline]

Perseaus: wow rude

[perseaus is offline]

 **A/N: hA Jason makes no promises to stay alive ;'')**

 **Also according to the Riordan wikia Percy's immune to the cold but again it's my shitty 4am humor.**


	3. Chapter 3

Perseaus: So for the first time in forever everyone is online

Smarter than you: gods I hate where this is heading

Monarachel: miracle, really

McPiper: honestly surprising

Perseaus: we should celebrate this by playing...

Save the environment fuckers: oh gods...

Perseaus: Truth or dare!

G(old): oh no

Spooky scary skeletons: oh no

McPiper: oh FUCKING YES

Sparky sparky: sure

Monarachel: ehh why not

Perseaus: ok I'll start

Perseaus: McShizzle truth or dare

McShizzle: dare of course

Perseaus: oh um

Calala: dare him to leave me alone

Perseaus: I dare you to bug Calypso

Calala: I fucking hate you

G(old): XD

Smarter than you: Hazel honey you do know that face is outdated, right?

G(old): sorry

Goldfish: it's ok sweetheart

Wouldiwas: Frazel is so cute!

McShizzle: Wouldiwas truth or dare

Wouldiwas: fuck

Save the environment fuckers: Mary had a little lamb

Wouldiwas: truth

Perseaus: Grover wth

Save the environment fuckers: I'm bored

Monarachel: Percy let Grover be

McShizzle: when did you and Neecs first do the do

Wouldiwas: umm never?

McPiper: wow

Wouldiwas: I don't like frick fracking

Wouldiwas: not like I have much experience with the issue

Wouldiwas: Death boy truth or dare

Spooky scary skeletons: don't call me that

Spooky scary skeletons: and truth

Wouldiwas: who was your first crush death boy

Spooky scary skeletons: Percy

Perseaus: I'm still surprised he wanted to kiss me, not kill me

Spooky scary skeletons: he's no longer my type tho

Perseaus: understandable have a good day

Monarachel: We should start a squad with all the people who used to have crushes on Percy (I'm in lmao)

Calala: I'll join

Spooky scary skeletons: me too

Reyst in peace: me three

Wouldiwas: honestly me four

Perseaus: I didn't know I was that hot lmao

Smarter than you: I remember back when I was 17there was a rumor that Nico had a crush on me for some reason?

Spooky scary skeletons: ew no

Spooky scary skeletons: WAIT I DIDN T ME AN IT THST WSY ITD JUST BECAUAE IM GAU

Smarter than you: wow Nico

Sparky sparky: he makes fun of you then sends a message with 50 typos

Reyst in peace: Anna I love you but Nico just roasted your ass

Smarter than you: I realized that already

Spooky scary skeletons: Percy truth or dare

Save the environment fuckers: just changes the topic

Perseaus: truth

Spooky scary skeletons: how much do you really weigh

Perseaus: fuck

Perseaus: dare

Spooky scary skeletons: sorry sweetie you gotta answer

Perseaus: ok I way 83 kgare you happy now

Perseaus: most of it is muscle tho ;)))

Smarter than you: he has belly fat

Perseaus: Wise girl you just betrayed me :'(

Smarter than you: :)

Perseaus: Hazel truth or dare

G(old): truth

McShizzle: Cal and I are in a cuddle war so we gtg

[McShizzle is offline]

[Calala is offline]

McPiper: aww Caleo's really cute too!

Perseaus: So back to truth or dare

Perseaus: Hazel how is your pet turtle?

G(old): she's very fine, thanks for asking!

G(old): Sweetheart truth or dare

Goldfish: umm

Goldfish: dare

G(old): I dare you to come and watch a movie with me

Goldfish: I thought dares were supposed to be things you didn't want to do

McPiper: aww Frazel's being cute again!

G(old): :3

Goldfish: bye guys

G(old): bye everyone

[goldfish is offline]

[g(old) is offline]

Save the environment fuckers: I just realized

Save the environment fuckers: my username

Save the environment fuckers: sounds like I want people to save environment fuckers

Save the environment fuckers: who even are environment fuckers

Save the environment fuckers: who fucks the environment

Save the environment fuckers: I'm having a crisis someone help

Smarter than you: I'm gonna go check on Grover

Perseaus: same

[smarter than you is offline]

[perseaus is offline]

[save the environment fuckers is offline]

Reyst in peace: well that concludes the end of the game

Reyst in peace: bye

[reyst in peace is offline]

[sparky sparky is offline]

[McPiper is offline]

Monarachel: So...

Spooky scary skeletons: why are you called Wouldiwas

Wouldiwas: past tense of William

Monarachel: fucking shit you're right

Wouldiwas: hey Neecs I'm coming over

Spooky scary skeletons: wanna watch a movie with me

Wouldiwas: sure

Monarachel: making plans in front of me but not inviting me :((

Spooky scary skeletons: Lmao didn't know you wanted to be a part of this date

Wouldiwas: does Rachel want to date us

Monarachel: ok I no longer want to be invited

* * *

 **A/N: "fucking shit you're right" I didn't know whether to use fuck or shit so naturally I went with both.**

 **Also thanks for all the nice reviews (and warning)! I take constructive criticism if you guys wanna tell me anything about my writing.**

 **I really don't know when to end this fanfic? I mean, I wrote this as a pretty much cooping mechanism during the finals weeks, but I finished finals onTuesday. I'm thinking 13 chapters?**

 **[Disclaimer:I still do not own the Riordanverse, sadly.]**


	4. Chapter 4

**They're gonna mention Infinity War, but there won't be any spoilers.**

**[disclaimer: STILL don't own the riordanverse]**

* * *

Smarter than you: Why's Leo on fire this time

Calala: I promised to watch Infinity War with him today

Monarachel: oh no

Smarter than you: oh no

Save the environment, fuckers: oh no

McShizzle: oh yES

[Perseaus is online]

Perseaus: Hey Annabeth, you want to know who's beautiful?

Perseaus: say the first word again ;)

Smarter than you: "Hey"?

Perseaus: oh crap I messed up

Monarachel: anyways,,

Monarachel: have you guys heard of the dude who fainted while watching Infinity War

McShizzle: probably fainted because of how ugly Thanos is

Save the environment, fuckers: wow Leo

McShizzle: ;)

McShizzle: when are we gonna gooooooo

Calala: in 30 minutes

McShizzle: I hope we'll see a lot of Spider-man and Iron man bonding

Perseaus: :))

Smarter than you: don't spoil anything for them Percy

Perseaus: my lips are sealed, wise girl

Monarachel: not like you spoiled the movie for me :((((

Perseaus: I said I'm sorry

Monarachel: sorry doesn't take back what you've done :(((

Save the environment, fuckers: I'm ok with Thanos killing everyone however he shouldn't fucking dare touch a single fucking animal

McShizzle: Thanos is an angry vegan who kills anyone who eats meat

Perseaus: does eating my girlfriend out count

Calala: eww

Monarachel: ^

Smarter than you: first, we've never had sex

McShizzle: lmao Percy's still a virgin

Smarter than you: second, you eat hamburgers every week, so Thanos would kill you whether or not we fucked before

Calala: can't wait for the day he finally does kill Percy

Perseaus: r u d e

[spooky scary skeletons is online]

Spooky scary skeletons: I heard "kill Percy" and I came here as fast as I could

Spooky scary skeletons: am I late I wanted to kill him myself

Perseaus: WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO RUDE TO ME

Smarter than you: sorry babe

Save the environment, fuckers: I'm going to start a Percy protection squad

Smarter than you: I'm in

McShizzle: Frank and Hazel would want to join

McShizzle: however I enjoy teasing Percy so I'll pass

Perseaus: my best 4 friends

Perseaus: the rest of y'all don't deserve me

Spooky scary skeletons: we deserve better

Monarachel: IM-

Calala: damn right

McShizzle: oh my fuck Nico

Save the environment, fuckers: #percyprotectionsquad

Smarter than you: I'm sitting next to Percy and he's currently debating whether or not throwing his phone into the fire is a good idea y'all broke this boy's heart

Spooky scary skeletons: whoops

Calala: ehh he broke Nico and Rachel and my hearts before so that's just payback

McShizzle: Mr. Heartbreaker

McShizzle: baaaaabe we should goooooo

Perseaus: leave and NEVER COME BACK

Calala: bye

[Calala is offline]

[McShizzle is offline]

Monarachel: but honestly Pers I really care about you even tho you spoiled infinity war for me

Perseaus: thanks

Save the environment, fuckers: I love you bro

Save the environment, fuckers: no homo tho

Perseaus: same bro

Perseaus: ily bro

Save the environment, fuckers: ilyt bro

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm literally the straightest person texting at the moment

Smarter than you: excuse you he said no homo

Perseaus: yes homo

Save the environment, fuckers: a lot of homo

Perseaus: So much fucking homo oh my gods

Smarter than you: I don't know whether to laugh or to be jealous

Spooky scary skeletons: all of the above


	5. Chapter 5

**[disclaimer: Did you know that Juno went by the name June in Son of Neptune? But even though I have the same nickname as a character in the riordanverse, I still don't own the riordanverse.]**

* * *

Perseaus: ok so I just learned today that Will is bi and not gay so everyone just tell me your sexualities now so I don't assume shit

Smarter than you: I'm bi

McPiper: same

Spooky scary skeletons: gay

Perseaus: Wait Annabeth you're bi?

Smarter than you: I've liked people before you yknow

Monarachel: I don't do labels

Sparky sparky: straight

Save the environment, fuckers: I'm a hetero ace

Perseaus: the more I know

McPiper: this is pretty much an lgbt+ squad at this point almost non of us are 100% straight

Sparky sparky: umm excuse me babe but I'm still here?

Perseaus: She said almost

Sparky sparky: fair

Smarter than you: what about you seaweed brain

Perseaus: I'm big gay but also i love my girlfriend

Perseaus: I'm bi lol

Perseaus: but how is will not gay

Spooky scary skeletons: he dated this girl before he started dated me

Spooky scary skeletons: don't remember her name

Sparky sparky: what was it, Candy? Carly? Caddie?

Save the environment, fuckers: Cassie

Spooky scary skeletons: but she's a bitch and no one needs to see her and she could go die for all I care

Sparky sparky: wow someone's pissed

Smarter than you: Seaweed brain was I like this when you told me about Rachel and Calypso?

Perseaus: yup and yup

Smarter than you: f u c k

Spooky scary skeletons: why is Voldemort so damn ugly

Spooky scary skeletons: I've seen zombies and ghosts and people who came back from the dead but nothing looks as bad as that egg

Perseaus: THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING

Monarachel: do you think you know who used to complain to Bellatrix about his looks

Save the environment, fuckers: "you look fine sir!" "I LOOK LIKE AN EGG BELLATRIX"

Smarter than you: how do you guys manage to change topics so quickly and weirdly and easily without even breaking a sweat

Monarachel: with talent, immaturity, and our great need to forget all the suffering we've been through during the past two wars that we were involuntarily thrown in the middle of

Smarter than you: w o w

Perseaus: that got deep quickly

Save the environment, fuckers: umm

Spooky scary skeletons: wtf Rachel

McPiper: Rachel u ok?

Monarachel: I won't be ok until Voldemort looks less like an egg

Save the environment, fuckers: same

[sparky sparky is offline]

McPiper: we're too weird, talented, and emotionally scarred for Sparky lmao

Perseaus: also physically scarred

Perseaus: I have like 50 scars now

Perseaus: I got one just a bit above my private parts during one battle

Smarter than you: what kind of monster managed to give you a scar overthere

Save the environment, fuckers: a horny one

Monarachel: an Annabeth monster

Perseaus: stOp

Smarter than you: I hate you guys

McPiper: love you too bby:))

[smarter than you is offline]

Perseaus: aww Annabeth's blushing

McPiper: wait did she really give you that scar

Perseaus: wOuLdNt yOu wAnT tO kNoW

Spooky scary skeletons: I remember seeing a cyclops throw a rock at Percy and it hit him over there

Save the environment, fuckers: he wouldn't stop crying for hours

Perseaus: why do you guys love embrassing melike this

Monarachel: because it's fun

Perseaus: r u d e

[perseaus is offline]

McPiper: well I have a good amount of blackmail now

McPiper: au revoir my friends

[McPiper is offline]

Spooky scary skeletons: We should start an embarrassing Percy squad

Monarachel: I'm in

Save the environment, fuckers: I would love to join but I'm part of the Percy protection squad and Percy's my bro and I have to show at least a bit of respect

Save the environment, fuckers: eVeN iF hE dOeSnT sHoW mY rEeDpiPe pLaYiNg sKiLLs aNy rEsPeCt

Monarachel: someone's salty lmao

Save the environment, fuckers: :((

[save the environment, fuckers is offline]

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm gonna go ask will to join the squad

Monarachel: first squad meeting tomorrow atthis gc

Spooky scary skeletons: y e s

[monarachel is offline]

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

* * *

 **I still don't know when to end this fanfic? I don't want it to be any more than 25 chapters, and preferably it'd be less than 20. I don't know, though. 13? 14? 15? 16? 17?**

 **Also thanks for all the positive feedback. I have huge anxiety, and I really care what people think about me and my writing, so it makes me really happy that you guys like this fanfic.**

 **Remember I take constructive criticism, and I hope you guys enjoyed reading this!**


	6. Chapter 6

**[disclaimer: the riordanverse is still not called the juneverse, so no, I don't own anything or anyone in the riordanverse.]**

* * *

Save the environment, fuckers: I have the strange urge to add Thalia to this gc

Smarter than you: d o i t

Reyst in peace: sure why not

Perseaus: NO WE ALREADY HAVE ENOGH PEOPLE IN THE "EMBRASSING PERCY SQUAD"

Smarter than you: enough*

Reyst in peace: if he's not adding her then I am

Perseaus: I regret making this group chat all youguys do is tease me

[reyst in peace added Beauty and Grace]

Beauty and Grace: what the fuck is up bitches

Perseaus: wellshe replies quickly

Smarter than you: Hey Thals ❤️

Beauty and Grace: hey babe ❤️

Save the environment, fuckers: they're being more romantic than Percy and Annabeth are together

Perseaus: then Grover and I will be romantic in return then

Reyst in peace: and I will fifth wheel if I stay here any longer

[reyst in peace is offline]

Beauty and Grace: so what's new y'all

Smarter than you: Percy and Grover are dating, Jason and Piper and Reyna had a threesome, Hazel has a pet turtle, and Leo and Calypso watched Infinity War

Beauty and Grace: w o w

Save the environment, fuckers: Percy since when were we dating

Perseaus: since the day we met

Save the environment, fuckers: true

Save the environment, fuckers: I'm straight but if I was gay I'd probably want to date you

Perseaus: I'm surprised you aren't PANsexual

Save the environment, fuckers: AHAHAHAHAHA

Perseaus: AHAHAHAHAHA

Smarter than you: Thals you should definitely come over soon

Beauty and Grace: Artemis is planning on coming over in a week

Beauty and Grace: Tell Jason he should have the balls to finally propose to Piper by the next week I wanna be there to see my brother propose to my future sister in law

Perseaus: w o w

Save the environment, fuckers: ARTEMIS IS COMING OVER

Save the environment, fuckers: OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS

Save the environment, fuckers: I CANT BELIEVE IT

Save the environment, fuckers: IM GONNA GO TELL JUNIPER

[save the environment, fuckers is offline]

Perseaus: You guys know how every year we decorate a tree during Christmas?

Perseaus: we should decorate Thalia this year

Beauty and Grace: wtf Percy

Perseaus: :]

* * *

 _ **Important:**_ **Ok so should I add a bit of Theyna or Thaluke or both or neither? If I choose Theyna, it'dbe the squad teasing Reyna about her crush on Thalia. If I chooseThaluke, it's pretty much be all "hey Annabeth,remember the second Titan war?!" "YES I REMEMBER THALIA'S CRUSH ON LUKE." If I choose neither, Thalia would be aromantic and asexual. Idk what to do?**

 **Remember I take constructive criticism!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Answer to reviews:**

 **XWFY ~ Thank** _ **you**_ **for reading this!**

 **Guest ~ I'm glad people actually understand the pun lmao**

 **Kema Blue ~ I'm glad you're enjoying this! And I'm not the best, you are!**

 **Also my friend reminded me that the characters are dyslexic and this entire fanfic sucks now :((.**

 **[disclaimer: Do I really have to say it again? No, I don't own the riordanverse.]**

* * *

Monarachel: I'm cutting both my hands off

Smarter than you: WH AT

Beauty and Grace: Rachel what the actual FUCK

G(old): What the hell, Rachel

Monarachel: this is the third time my hands have failed me as I was drawing this week. I shall not accept this any longer

Smarter than you: art block?

Monarachel: ITS NOT EVEN AN ART BLOCK

Monarachel: my art just keeps turning out bad

[wouldiwas is online]

Wouldiwas: good morning

Beauty and Grace: it's 6pm

G(old): My bro's definitely affecting you, Will

Wouldiwas: my boyfriend definitely IS affecting me I thought it was 12pm

Smarter than you: do you not check the time?

Wouldiwas: stop judging me Annabeth

Wouldiwas: also Rachel if you cut your hands off, I'll make sure dad curses you so that no doctor will ever help you

Monarachel: a prize I'm willing to pay

G(old): you should ask Nico to help

Wouldiwas: my boyfriend's a surprisingly good artist

Wouldiwas: My boyfriend showed me some of his paintings a couple of weeks ago and my boyfriend's paintings are so pretty

Smarter than you: yknow you can just call you boyfriend Nico, right?

Wouldiwas: I know

Wouldiwas: but he says I use the term "boyfriend" too much so I'm just annoying the hell out of him

Wouldiwas: no wait

Wouldiwas: he's a son of Hades

Smarter than you: "annoy the hell out of him"

Wouldiwas: "the hell out of him" oh gods

G(old): oh my gods Will

Beauty and Grace: lmaooooo

Monarachel: BACK TO THE TOPIC

Monarachel: art is hard and I'm gonna fucking cut my hands off

Monarachel: no one can stop me

Smarter than you: if you cut your hands off, Bob Ross would be disappointed in you

G(old): oh my gods I can't believe Annabeth stooped that low

Monarachel: I am no longer gonna cut my hands off because Annabeth is a BITCH that had to mention Bob Ross :( (still love you tho Anna)

Beauty and Grace: El's only weakness

Wouliwas: El?

Beauty and Grace: It's way shorter than Rachel, so shut the fuck up William

* * *

[9pm, private conversation between Perseaus and Smarter than you]

Perseaus: hey wise girl

[perseaus sent a picture]

Smarter than you: is that a puppy

Perseaus: yup

Smarter than you: you went out to get milk

Perseaus: yeah?

Smarter than you: we already have a dog, a Mrs. O'Leary, and three cats.

Perseaus: should I give her back to the pet shelter then

Smarter than you: no

Smarter than you: you should get your ass here so I could see the new addition to the family

Perseaus: love you wise girl

Smarter than you: love me too 

* * *

PLEEEAAASE VOTE FOR ONE OF THE THREE IN THE REVIEWS:

A. Add Thaluke  
B. Add Theyna  
C. Keep Thalia single


	8. Chapter 8

**Review replies:**

 **Live-to-forgive ~ I'm not Christian lmao but thanks for the warning I guess**

 **Guest 1 ~ thanks for the vote**

 **Guest 2 ~ thank you so much, and yes, I will continue writing this!**

 **Guest 3 ~ Thank youuuuu**

 **A doge ~ thank you!**

 **Putte5 ~ I'm glad it did!**

 **Guest 4 ~ ha you saw what I did there**

 **Also Thalia's gonna be aro and ace!**

 **[disclaimer: Would it surprise you if I said I didn't own the riordanverse? Because I don't]**

* * *

Perseaus: Grover?

Perseaus: best friend?

Perseaus: best bro?

Perseaus: BROver?

Spooky scary skeletons: wtf Percy

Perseaus: greatest buddy ever?

Perseaus: Grover I'm sorry

Save the environment, fuckers: SORRY DOESNT BRING BACK MY SKITTLES PERCY

Spooky scary skeletons: w o w

Perseaus: I'll buy you a new one!

Save the environment, fuckers: no

Save the environment, fuckers: you've already betrayed my trust, Pers

Spooky scary skeletons: wtf is even going on

Perseaus: he won't forgive me for eating his skittles!

Save the environment, fuckers: WHY SHOULD I FORGIVE YOU YOU ATE MY SKITTLES

Perseaus: I'll buy you five bags of skittles!

Save the environment, fuckers: YOU CAN BUY MORE SKITTLES BUT YOU CANT BUY MY TRUST THAT YOUVE OFFICIALLY LOST NOW

Spooky scary skeletons: both of you shut up and make up or I'll call Annabeth

Perseaus: shit

Save the environment, fuckers: ok I forgive you Pers

Save the environment, fuckers: (aslongasyougetmethosefiveskittles)

Perseaus: I'll give em to you in five minutes

Spooky scary skeletons: are you that scared of Annabeth when she's in mom mode

Perseaus: yes

Save the environment, fuckers: yes

Spooky scary skeletons: Honestly same

* * *

 **This chapter's short and not funnyplease forgive.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Reviews answers:**

 **A doge ~ my favorite death boy ❤️❤️**

 **XWFY ~ Yeah, I noticed. I wrote it quickly because I realized I haven't updated in a while, but I'll try to write better. Also, I have no idea when I'm gonna finish this. I guess whenever it feels right?**

 **Hannah forever ~ glad my work got you to laugh!**

 _ **This chapter really sucks since I found puns from the internet and just inserted them here. I'm sorry, but I'm in a writer's block. If you wanna help, check the end of the chapter.**_

 **[disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.]**

* * *

Smarter than you: what did one cell tell his sister cell that stepped on his toe?

Monarachel: what?

Smarter than you: mitosis

Spooky scary skeletons: I wanna die

McShizzle: what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises

McShizzle: it becomes daytrogen

Spooky scary skeletons: s t o p

Monarachel: So oxygen went on a date with potassium today. It went...OK

Smarter than you: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium...OMG

McShizzle: actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was like "NO"

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm done with all of you

McShizzle: stop being a HO

Monarachel: what do you do when a chemist dies

Monarachel: You barium

Smarter than you: why are chemists great at solving problems?

Smarter than you: they've got all the solutions

[spooky scary skeletons has left the group chat]

[McShizzle added spooky scary skeletons to the group chat]

Spooky scary skeletons: I hate you guys

Monarachel: love you too

McShizzle: stop spreading your negativity in this group chat

Spooky scary skeletons: electrons

McShizzle: Fuck you

—

[3am, private conversation between Perseaus and Save the Environment, fuckers]

Perseaus: hey Grover what mouse moves in two legs

Save the environment, fuckers: Mickey

Save the environment, fuckers: why?

Perseaus: what duck moves in two legs

Save the environment, fuckers: Donald?

Perseaus: no, all of them

Save the environment, fuckers: fUCK

Perseaus: :)))

* * *

 **PLEASE TELL ME WHICH CHARACTERS YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER. IT'D REALLY HELP ME WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTERS.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A doge ~ thank you for always writing reviews! Also I love that part lmao.**

**[disclaimer: Uncle Rickowns the riordanverse, and I am neither an uncle nor a Rick.]**

* * *

G(old): Frank and I got a cat!

G(old): She's cute and she's fluffy and she's eight months old!

Beauty and Grace: but Frank already is a cat

G(old): two cats are better than one

McPiper: true

Monarachel: what color is the cat

G(old): she's as dark as Nico's soul

McPiper: so white?

G(old): yup

G(old): and she has a green eye and a blue eye

McPiper: name her Piper Jr!

McPiper: because we both have weird eyes

G(old): I'll see if Frank likes the name

Monarachel: she's gonna charmspeak you to do it if Frank doesn't agree

Beauty and Grace: hey oldie want me to get you someearplugs because of thecharmpspeak

G(old): yes please

McPiper: r u d e

McPiper: you know I'm not the type of person who uses charmspeak to get what I want

Monarachel: yesterday you charmspoke Leo into getting you Doritos

Beauty and Grace: and before that you charmspoke me to sing I Will Always Love You with you in karaoke night

McPiper: the song is good and you wouldn't sing anything that isn't metal

G(old): she has a point Thals

[Reyst in Peace joined the group chat]

Reyst in Peace: hey

Beauty and Grace: Rey tell them my taste in music is good

Reyst in peace: I would, but then I'd be lying

Monarachel: buuuuuuuurn

McPiper: HA

G(old): we told you

Beauty and Grace: stfu

Reyst in peace: I don't like your taste in music but I love you so don't get too sad we don't like what you listen to

Beauty and Grace: :) ❤️

Reyst in peace: also Hazel your boyfriend keeps turning into a cat what the fuck is up with that

G(old): we got a cat that we're naming Piper Jr because Piper has kaleidoscope eyes and Piper Jr has heterochromia

Reyst in peace: did you by any chance also get a bulldog because he just turned into one 

G(old): he sleeps as a bulldog so you should make sure he's awake

Beauty and Grace: she's gonna murder your boyfriend if he's not awake during work time

McPiper: she probably will lmao

Monarachel: Reyst in peace Frank

* * *

 **I couldn't help myself. I had to add a bit of Theyna, but hey, that "I love you" part could be seen as platonic!**

 **Please review and _tell me which characters you want to see next!_**


	11. Chapter 11

**Answers to reviews:**

 **Guest 1 ~ coach hedge? That would be interesting, but I'm still shitty at writing characters with such a strong personality. Hopefully soon, tho.**

 **Guest 2 ~ thank you!**

 **Perce and Annie ~ thanks for the vote**

 **Another bad chapter. Sorry. I've been really busy with family, so haven't had time to write fanfiction.**

 **Disclaimer: riordanverse isn't mine.**

* * *

Perseaus: I'm writing a song

McPiper: what's it called

Perseaus: it's called "how to tell my girlfriend she's a cheater that broke my heart"

McPiper: w h a t

Smarter than you: Percy it was just monopoly

Perseaus: played with my heart just like she plays monopoly

Spooky scary skeletons: wtf Percy I literally thought Anna fucked another slut for a second there

Perseaus: another?

Spooky scary skeletons: ur slut number 1

McPiper: lmaooooo

Smarter than you: Percy and I haven't fucked before

Perseaus: hmm wanna change that ;)

Spooky scary skeletons: excuse you sexting is in private convos only

McPiper: my mother's the goddess of love and even I don't wannaknow what you guys do in bed please sext in private

Smarter than you: sorry babe ❤️

McPiper: no problem sweetheart ❤️ love you baby

Smarter than you: love you too sweetheart

Spooky scary skeletons: here comes the jealous boyfriend oh no oh no oh no

Perseaus: always plays me like a game of monopoly

Smarter than you: Percy for the last fucking time I didn't cheat in monopoly

Perseaus: yes you did!

Smarter than you: no I fucking did not

McPiper: gtg my battery is low

Spooky scary skeletons: So is my self esteem

McPiper: what

Spooky scary skeletons: what

* * *

 **Please vote for next chapter!**

 **1\. A stranger flirts with Percy**

 **2\. Valentine's day**

 **3\. Nico's birthday**


	12. Chapter 12

Perseaus: guys Nico's surprise birthday party starts at 7pm you should all be at my apartment soon, ok?

Goldfish: umm Percy?

Goldfish: you do realize Nico's in this group chat right?

Smarter than you: I'm dating a fucking idiot

[spooky scary skeletons is online]

Spooky scary skeletons: it's Hazel

Spooky scary skeletons: I saw the notification before Nico and I kinda stole his phone

Spooky scary skeletons: don't tell the stolls they'll probably ask me to help them with their pranks

Perseaus: what do I do what do I do what do I DO LEO WHY THE FUCK CANT I DELETE MESSAGES

[McShizzle is online]

McShizzle: I like to watch you guys suffer lmfao

Goldfish: can I kill Leo for that message please

McShizzle: and I just thought you WARMED UP TO ME

Goldfish: that was an awful pun

smarter than you: ^

Spooky scary skeletons: guys Nico's searching for his phon g

[perseaus removed spooky scary skeletons from the group chat]

Smarter than you: what the actual fuck Percy

Perseaus: I'm sorry I panicked

Perseaus: hey at least he can't see the messages now!

[G(old) is online]

G(old): No offense Percy but that was idiotic and someone else should be the group admin (ily tho)

McShizzle: I second that

Goldfish: I third that (sorry Perce)

Smarter than you: I forth that

[perseaus made smarter than you group admin]

Smarter than you: wow I'm honored

Goldfish: we have a better admin now thank god

Perseaus: r u d e

Goldfish: sorry Perce ?

Perseaus: :(((

G(old): but seriously Leo shouldn't we be able to delete messages

Smarter than you: it'd be a real help whenever Percy does something stupid

McShizzle: nah

McShizzle: seeing you guys suffer is way funner than working on a delete button

Perseaus: sorry to change the topic but it's 5:50pm are you guys coming over or...

* * *

[smarter than you added spooky scary skeletons to the group chat]

Monarachel: sorry we removed you Nico but a certain someone was an idiot and removed you from the group chat to fix his mistakes

Spooky scary skeletons: I don't know the story (I expect to know the details tomorrow at lunch) but I bet the idiot is Percy

Smarter than you: yup (babe if you're reading this I still love you, idiot)

Spooky scary skeletons: but seriously guys thanks for planning this whole thing

Spooky scary skeletons: I was actually really happy today thanks to you guys

Wouldiwas: it's no problem really

Wouldiwas: love you sweetie

Spooky scary skeletons: love you too


	13. Chapter 13

**I have no excuse for not replying to the reviews one by one. I got lazy, but thanks for all the nice reviews!**

 **This is for everyone who voted "stranger flirts with Percy".**

 **[Disclaimer: I obviously don't own the riordanverse.]**

* * *

[Beauty and Grace made the group chat: we're gonna tell her]

[Beauty and Grace added Perseaus, Monarachel, and Smarter than you]

Perseaus: THALIA DONT YOU DARE

Monarachel: sorry Perce

Perseaus: DUDE SHES GONNA KILL IF SHE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED

Beauty and Grace: that'd be fun to watch!

Smarter than you: ?

Smarter than you: what's happening here

Perseaus: NOTHING

Smarter than you: tell me what

Monarachel: today a girl started hitting on Percy

Smarter than you: oh

Perseaus: I can hear her fucking sharpening her sword in the living room

Smarter than you: I'm sharpening my pencil, Percy

Perseaus: oh my gods she's gonna stab the girl with a pencil

Beauty and Grace: so Percy and Rachel and I were walking around camp Jupiter with our coffee and whatnot

Beauty and Grace: and a girl comes up to Percy

Monarachel: she wouldn't stop flirting with him

Perseaus: I swear to the gods I was so uncomfortable

Beauty and Grace: she goes "Valentine's day is coming up and i need a bae"

Monarachel: wanna know what Percy told her?

Perseaus: oh gods

Smarter than you:probably something stupid

Beauty and Grace: "well you need to find the shore"

Monarachel: get it? As in bae and bay?

Perseaus: it was funny tho

Smarter than you: Seaweed brain that's the lamest joke I've ever read

Perseaus: Wise girl i can hear you giggling

Smarter than you: stfu babe

Beauty and Grace: ANYWAYS

Monarachel: she gets really close to Percy

Monarachel: and she offers him bed pleasure

Perseaus: I'm still extremely disgusted she suggested we fucked even afterI told her I had a girlfriend

Beauty and Grace: I love how Rache just calls it bed pleasure instead of sex

Beauty and Grace: both of us aretoo grossed out by the fact that people actually find Percy attractive enough to have sex with him

Smarter than you: Rachel used to fantasize about jumping on that D a few years ago

Monarachel: anyways,,

Perseaus: ANYWAYS

Monarachel: and then this one girl shows up and goes "what the fuck are you cheating on me with the Neptune kid"

Beauty and Grace: it was a mess after that tbh

Monarachel: we watched those two fucking fight in public

Monarachel: the girl who was being almost cheated on got fucking pissed (don't blame her)

Beauty and Grace: but then they started making out and they just left

Monarachel: just disappeared

Beauty and Grace: just

Beauty and Grace: gone

Monarachel: then we got cookies

Beauty and Grace: the end

Smarter than you: this was wild start to finish

Perseaus: how sharp is the pencil

Smarter than you: sharp enough to stab a bitch or two

Monarachel: oh my fucking gosh Anna

Smarter than you: anyone who calls me Anna is gonna get stabbed by my pencil

Perseaus: Anna you're so cute

Smarter than you: idk whether to thank you or to stab you with the pencil

Beauty and Grace: both

—

[heroes of olympuns]

[smarter than you changed the group chat name to: "just stabbed a bitch"]

Save the environment, fuckers: w h a t

Perseaus: don't worry it was with a pencil

Save the environment, fuckers: yknow what

Save the environment, fuckers: I'm just

Save the environment, fuckers: _not_ gonna ask


	14. Chapter 14

**Bad news: I'm gonna have this summer school-ish thing for "talented students" starting next week, so I won't update as much.**

 **Good news: I finally wrote a Valentine's day chapter!**

 **[Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse]**

* * *

McPiper: Love is in the air

Reyst in peace: no wonder it felt so polluted

McShizzle: today's Valentines!

McShizzle: yknow what that means?

McShizzle: Cal and I are gonna HEAT IT UP in bed ,';)

Calala: how am I even attracted to you

Wouldiwas: what're everyone's plans for today

McPiper: Lightning McQueen and I are gonna go watch a rom-com and eat dinner

McShizzle: Sunshine n I are gonna buy every valentines card a drug store and watch all the forgetful boyfriends suffer

Calala: it's actually really funny watching so many people panicking over a card

Calala: and we're gonna give everyone in college a card at the end

McPiper: I wish Sparky and i thought of that first :(

Wouldiwas: Wby Rey? Are you going to the Stolls' party?

Reyst in peace: I'm going out with someone

McPiper: ooooo someone's got a boy/girlfriend

Reyst in peace: it's a friend thing

Calala: a friend thing? In Valentine's?

McShizzle: who's the lucky boy/girl

Reyst in peace: luck is a myth made by people who believe actions don't always have consequences

Wouldiwas: w o w

McPiper: ok?

Reyst in peace: and there's no lucky boy

Calala: then she's a lucky girl

Reyst in peace: can we please stop discussing my love life

McPiper: okkkk

McPiper: just tell us the first letter of her name

Reyst in peace: no

McShizzle: yes

Reyst in peace: no

McShizzle: yes

Reyst in peace: no

McShizzle: yes

McPiper: yes

Reyst in peace: fine

Reyst in peace: Her name starts with a T

Wouldiwas: What's her name? Tiffany? Talia? Thalia? Tracy? Tina? Tammy? Trish? Tamara? Takeout from McDonald's?

Reyst in peace: I'm not telling you, Solace

Reyst in peace: now we're gonna stop talking about my love life

Calala: ok

[smarter than you is online]

Smarter than you: Rey did I just see you meet up with a girl and kiss her?

Reyst in peace: where are you

Smarter than you: Percy and I are in the cafe you just walked by

McPiper: is the girlfriend someone we know

Reyst in peace: don't tell them

Reyst in peace: let them drown in curiosity

McShizzle: Reyna wants us to drown

Reyst in peace: I especially want you to drown, Valdez

McShizzle: #offended

Smarter than you: I'm gonna go finish my cookie

Smarter than you: Rey if you wanna double date, Seaweed brain and I'll be staying in the cafe for a while

Smarter than you: also get off the phone and talk to your girlfriend

Reyst in peace: We're coming over

Smarter than you: great

[smarter than you is offline]

[Reyst in peace is offline]

Wouldiwas: well that was an interesting conversation

McPiper: "a friend thing" my ass

Calala: we're going to go buy valentine's day cards now

[calala is offline]

McShizzle: au revoir y'all

McPiper: ^ that's the worst thing I've ever read please never mix French and Texan again

McShizzle: no

[mcshizzle is offline]

McPiper: sooooo

McPiper: you never told us what you and Nico are doing today

Wouldiwas: We're robbing a bank

Wouldiwas: jk we're gonna cuddle and watch Brooklyn nine nine and exchange gifts

McPiper: softies

* * *

 **Have you guys realized Reyna never stays till the end of the chapter? She always leaves before the chapter ends.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Day one of summer course was awful, so I needed to do something that makes me happy.**

**[Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.]**

* * *

Wouldiwas: Hey neecs

Wouldiwas: should I compare thee to a summer's day?

Spooky scary skeletons: I already hate where this is going

Wouldiwas: too hot, hot damn

Perseaus: I'm sitting next to Nico and he's a blushing mess

Spooky scary skeletons: I am NOT

Sparky sparky: hmm keep telling yourself that

McPiper: well I honestly think it's pretty cute Nico still blushes when Will flirts with him

Wouldiwas: it's adorable

Wouldiwas: Ily Nico

Spooky scary skeletons: and I hate you for making me blush

Sparky sparky: he typed an "Ilyt" but decided not to send it at the last second

McPiper: aww I'm sitting next to Will and he's blushing now

Perseaus: LMAO NICO JUST SLAPPED SPARKY

[perseaus sent an image:]

McPiper: Nico wtf

Spooky scary skeletons: your husband deserves it

McPiper: husband?

Sparky sparky: we're not married?

Spooky scary skeletons: yet

Wouldiwas: wait are you planning on proposing

Sparky sparky:nononononono

Sparky sparky: Pipes says that marriage should wait till after college

Spooky scary skeletons: yeah that's why you have a diamond ring in your pocket

Sparky sparky:I do NOT have a ring

Sparky sparky: Nico's just after revenge

Spooky scary skeletons: sure I am

Sparky sparky: nICO

McPiper: Hey, I find this really sweet

McPiper: and honestly I'd probably say yes

Perseaus: are they getting engaged in this group chat

Wouldiwas: I think so

Spooky scary skeletons: also Jason's a blushing mess right now

Sparky sparky: nICO STOP

Spooky scary skeletons: stop what

Perseaus: Lightning McQueen is scolding Nico about respecting his elders now

Wouldiwas: Jason your mom is showing

McPiper: my to-be husband is showing his mama side again

McPiper: I find it cute

Perseaus: Jason just said "there was no ring before but I don't mind buying one now"

Spooky scary skeletons: Jason's scolding Percy now about secrets and how you shouldn't embarrass your friends

McPiper: hey lightning boy

McPiper: just get me a blueberry ring pop and I would say yes

Wouldiwas: the blueberry one tastes disgusting

McPiper: you're disgusting

McPiper: jk ily sunshine boi

Wouldiwas: aww thank you Mrs. Grace

Spooky scary skeletons: Jason's face is too red should we call an ambulance

Wouldiwas: Nah hes just in love

McPiper: aww

[Beauty and Grace is online]

Beauty and Grace: Piper won't put her phone down and her face is redder than my lipstick wtf is up

Perseaus: your brother got engaged

Beauty and Grace: fuck I wanted to be here for that


	16. Chapter 16

**My summer course is way better now, so I decided to write this as a celebration.**

 **[Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.]**

* * *

Wouldiwas: I just electrocuted myself wtf

Beauty and Grace: how shocking

Sparky sparky: how do you currently feel

Wouldiwas: I'm kind of amped

Beauty and Grace: watt I can't hear you

Wouldiwas: I said it hertz a lot

[spooky scary skeletons is online]

Spooky scary skeletons: it's literally three FUCKING am all of you stop making electricity jokes and go to sleep

Spooky scary skeletons: also sunshine go back to fucking bed and stop messing with electricity

Spooky scary skeletons: I really

Spooky scary skeletons: yknow

Spooky scary skeletons: wanna cuddle

Sparky sparky: awwww

Wouldiwas: but babe

Wouldiwas: my phone won't charge

Spooky scary skeletons: are you wet

Beauty and Grace: ooo Nico's sexting

Spooky scary skeletons: not in this fucking Christian household I amn't

Sparky sparky: i didn't know Nico was Christian

Spooky scary skeletons: Jason I literally go to church every week

Wouldiwas: yES NICO I JUST WASHED MY HANDS AND I KNOW THAT WAS IN NO WAY SEXTING

Sparky sparky: wait wasn't will ace

Beauty and Grace: you're ace?

Wouldiwas: uhhh yeah

Wouldiwas: I'masexual biromantic

Wouldiwas: I don't do sex

Beauty and Grace: the more I know

Spooky scary skeletons: Will just leave the charger and go to bed

Spooky scary skeletons: water and electricity don't go together

Sparky sparky: dude you're literally from the 40's how do you know more about technology than your boyfriend

Spooky scary skeletons: because he's an idiot

Wouldiwas: that's rude :(((

Spooky scary skeletons: an idiot that I love and admire very much and that I appreciate every single day and who's actually really smart and can name all the organs in your body as he's killing you and oh my gods I love you so much sunshine

Wouldiwas: aww that's better

Wouldiwas: i love you moredeath boy❤️❤️❤️

Sparky sparky: AWWWW

Beauty and Grace: Will just dry your fucking hands dude

Spooky scary skeletons: he did

Spooky scary skeletons: and he finally got to fucking bed

Spooky scary skeletons: finally

Wouldiwas: we're gonna go kiss now

Wouldiwas: goodnight

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

[wouldiwas is offline]

Sparky sparky: well they're cute

Beauty and Grace: yeah they are

Sparky sparky: who do you think is the little spoon

Beauty and Grace: Nico's a knife

Sparky sparky: wow sis

Beauty and Grace: yea

Beauty and Grace: but all jokes aside Nico's definitely the little spoon

Sparky sparky: I'd beg to differ

Sparky sparky: Will's 100% little spoon

Beauty and Grace: 20 dollar bet time?

Sparky sparky: you're on

* * *

 **I keep writing more chapters instead of sleeping someone please help**


	17. Chapter 17

**There's a tiny special guest in this episode! My friend wanted me to add her, so here she is.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse**

* * *

Perseaus: guys

Perseaus: Today Estelle asked me why mom wears make up

Save the environment, fuckers: and?

Perseaus: I told her she puts it to look pretty and Estelle said mom's already pretty

G(old): aww Estelle's such a cutie

Perseaus: then shE TOLD ME I SHOULD PUT MAKEUP ON

Spooky scary skeletons: hA

G(old): she's really nice to her mom

Perseaus: I thought I was the sassy one in this family :((((

Smarter than you: sorry babe but Elle just destroyed you

Perseaus: don't call her Elle

Perseaus: she no longer deserves nicknames

Save the environment, fuckers: do you need ice for that burn, Percy?

Perseaus: skdkskdkaldkskj

Perseaus: Hello im Estelle

Spooky scary skeletons: ?

Perseaus: she's stealing my pho

Perseaus: im borrowing it only

Perseaus: sHES STEALING

Perseaus: My brother is a big liar

Perseaus: eSTELLES A BIG LIAR SOMEONE HELP

Perseaus: SHE JUST JUNPED OM ME

Spooky scary skeletons: this is amazing

Smarter than you: Hey, Estelle

Smarter than you: it's your friend Annabeth ❤️

Perseaus: WISE GIRL NO

Perseaus: hi Annabeth

Perseaus: I miss you

Smarter than you: I miss you too, Elle

Smarter than you: I'm going to come visit soon, though :)

Save the environment, fuckers: ah Elle and Anna are precious

Perseaus: GROVER NO TEXTING THERES A BAD WORD IN YOUR USERNAME

[save the environment, fuckers changed their username to goat boy]

Goat boy: better?

G(old): I think that's better

Spooky scary skeletons: ew this group chat has to be pg 6 now

G(old): Nico no

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

Perseaus: that is rude uncel nico :((((

G(old): baby that isn't Uncle Nico

G(old): a bad boy is usinghis phone

Perseaus: oh ok

Perseaus: when r u viseting Anna

Smarter than you: next weekend

Smarter than you: I got you a little present too

Perseaus: thank you i love you

Smarter than you: I love you too ❤️

Goat boy: precious

G(old): very

Perseaus: ANNA STOP TEXTING WITH MY SIX YEARNOLD SISTER

Perseaus: SHE KEEPS STEALIGN MY PHONE

Goat boy: I have to admire her stealing abilities tho

Goat boy: the stolls would like Estelle

Perseaus: who r the stolls?

Goat boys: friends

Perseaus: I'm in my room and I have the phone now

Smarter than you: who's on the phone

Smarter than you: Percy or Estelle

Perseaus: Persea

Goat boy: it's hard to tell because you type like a 6 year old

Perseaus: #rude

Goat boy: sorry bro

Perseaus: it's ok bro

G(old): it's the bro thing again

Smarter than you: oh no it's the bro thing again

Goat boy: I love you bro

Perseaus: I love you too bro

Goat boy: no homo tho

Perseaus: I'm pro homo but no homo here

Smarter than you: Percy please

Perseaus: whdjskfjwkcjhj eSTELLES AFTER THE PHON

[Perseaus is offline]

Goat boy: RIP Percy

* * *

[private conversation between spooky scary skeletons and Wouldiwas]

Wouldiwas: Hey babe I ate the brownies in the fridge are they yours

Spooky scary skeletons: yeah

Spooky scary skeletons: it's gonna kick in soon

Wouldiwas: What's gonna kick in

Wouldiwas: death boy

Wouldiwas: bABE

Wouldiwas: NICO


	18. Chapter 18

**WARNING: this chapter is honestly very serious and has tons of talk about dead characters.**

**I just wanted to try writing something serious tbh.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.**

* * *

[3am, private conversation between Spooky scary skeletons and Wouldiwas]

Spooky scary skeletons: hey sunshine?

Wouldiwas: yeah babe?

Spooky scary skeletons: remember how I told you I'm gonna go to the Underworld to help dad and Persephone with some monsters and tasks and stuff?

Wouldiwas: yeah?

Spooky scary skeletons: I think I might be staying there overnight

Spooky scary skeletons: there was a huge amount of shit to do

Spooky scary skeletons: I really didn't expect this much crap to happen there

Wouldiwas: babe did anything happen to you?

Wouldiwas: are you ok

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm fine

Spooky scary skeletons: just a little shaken up I guess

Wouldiwas: I can give you permission to shadowtravel

Wouldiwas: just for today

Wouldiwas: if you wanna come over for the night

Spooky scary skeletons: Sweetheart it's ok

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm ok

Spooky scary skeletons: I just

Spooky scary skeletons: I love you a lot

Spooky scary skeletons: idk

Spooky scary skeletons: I realized I don't tell you that often enough

Wouldiwas: I love you too Nico

Wouldiwas: are you sure you're ok though?

Wouldiwas: should I get some medicine for when you come back?

Wouldiwas: even ambrosia maybe?

Spooky scary skeletons: painkillers will do

Spooky scary skeletons: Will

Spooky scary skeletons: I saw mom today

Wouldiwas: what?

Spooky scary skeletons: after fighting a couple of monsters dad told me about, I wanted to check up on Beckendorf and Silena in Elysium

Spooky scary skeletons: and I saw mom there

Spooky scary skeletons: in Elysium

Spooky scary skeletons: laughing with some other people obviously from the 20th century

Wouldiwas: oh

Spooky scary skeletons: I always thought she'd gone for rebirth

Spooky scary skeletons: that's what Bianca told me a couple of years ago

Spooky scary skeletons: "I haven't seen ma in Elysium, and knowing her, she chose rebirth. I wish she hadn't."

Spooky scary skeletons: ma still has the same Italian accent I remember

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm sorry

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm really really sorry

Wouldiwas: there's nothing to apologize for, Nico

Wouldiwas: Come home for a bit

Wouldiwas: just for a while

Wouldiwas: I'll have some painkillers and cocoa ready for you

Wouldiwas: and a blanket

Spooky scary skeletons: I think I'll come over for a while

Wouldiwas: I love you

Wouldiwas: and don't apologize

Wouldiwas: Your mom's and sister's fates weren't your fault

Wouldiwas: you tried your best to help them

Wouldiwas: it's not your fault

Spooky scary skeletons: I love you so much Will

Wouldiwas: I love you too

Wouldiwas: are you coming over?

Spooky scary skeletons: yeah

Spooky scary skeletons: I love you

Spooky scary skeletons: and thank you

Spooky scary skeletons: for everything

Spooky scary skeletons: thank you for loving me

Wouldiwas: it's really easy to do

Wouldiwas: I love you more

—

[group chat: Just stabbed a bitch]

Goat boy: what's a gender neutral term for cowboy/cowgirl?

Spooky scary skeletons: why do you even wanna know

Perseaus: it's cow

Spooky scary skeletons: See this is why you're not my type

Perseaus: honestly understandable

* * *

 **I was kinda sad when I wrote this? So I hope you guys like this piece of angst.**


	19. Chapter 19

**I keep getting really inspired lol. This is another truth or dare chapter featuring engaged Piper and non virgin Annabeth.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.**

* * *

Perseaus: Who wants to play truth or dare

Spooky scary skeletons: not again

McPiper: you barely did anythinglast time

Spooky scary skeletons: it still sucked

Goat boy: I'm down

Smarter than you: as long as I get to ask first

Wouldiwas: Nico and I are gonna play

G(old): Frank is doing praetor work but I have another 30 minutes till I have to leave our house

Perseaus: ok ok ok

Wouldiwas: Anna you start

Smarter than you: Seaweed brain truth or dare

Perseaus: oH

Perseaus: truth

Smarter than you: why don't you ever stop texting

Goat boy: an amazing question tbh

Perseaus: idek wise girl

Perseaus: it's because of my undying love for each of you

McPiper: not true you just like to waste time

Spooky scary skeletons: my love for you is dead, Percy

Perseaus: that means you loved me at some point so I consider that a win

Perseaus: goat boy truth or dare

Goat boy: dare?

Perseaus: I DARE YPU TO CHANGE YOUR USERNAME BACK TO SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT FUCKERS

G(old): honestly we all missed "Save the environment, fuckers"

[goat boy changed their username to save the environment, fuckers]

Save the environment, fuckers: idek why I just got attached to this username

Wouldiwas: we all did really

Save the environment, fuckers: Piper truth or dare

McPiper: this badass only chooses dares

Save the environment, fuckers: I dare you to choose truth next time

McPiper: you bITCH

McPiper: I love and appreciate you but you're a bitch :(((

Save the environment, fuckers: I'm not a bitch I just know how to choose good dares

McPiper: potaito potahto

McPiper: Wouldiwas t or d

Wouldiwas: trooth

McPiper: why did you spell truth like that

Spooky scary skeletons: yet another excellent question

Wouldiwas: Becos I canth engleesh

Spooky scary skeletons: if you ever type likethat again I'm breaking up with you

G(old): nICO DONT YOU DARE BREAK WILL'S HEART

Wouldiwas: technically you can't break a heart

Perseaus: will wtf

Wouldiwas: eh

Wouldiwas: Babe truth or dare

Spooky scary skeletons: dare

Wouldiwas: I dare you to come cuddle with me

Spooky scary skeletons: was already planning to

Spooky scary skeletons: just let me finish my turn

Wouldiwas: ok ❤️

[wouldiwas is offline]

Spooky scary skeletons: Piper truth or dare

McPiper: sigh

McPiper: truth

Spooky scary skeletons: when're you and Jason planning on getting married

McPiper: June 26th

Perseaus: fINALLY

Smarter than you: congrats on finally choosing a goddamn date

G(old): I'm really happy for you two

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm gonna go cuddle with Will now

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

McPiper: thanks for the congratulations

G(old): you're welcome Pipes

McPiper: Anna truth or dare

Smarter than you: Piper I trusted you

McPiper: horrible decision honestly

Perseaus: Anna pick dare

Smarter than you: truth

Perseaus: #offended

McPiper: what's something shocking you did this week

Perseaus: she lost her virginity lol

Smarter than you: pERCY

Perseaus: NO WAIT

Perseaus: WHERES THE DELETE BUTTON

Perseaus: FUCK

McPiper: oh my gods y'all did it

G(old): YOU TWO DID THE DO

Save the environment, fuckers: oH My gOdS tHeY DiD tHe dO

Save the environment, fuckers: now we wait for the babies

Smarter than you: NO BABIES

Perseaus: GROVER STOP

G(old): can the kids call me auntie

G(old): I've always wanted to be called auntie

Perseaus: THEY WONT CALL YOU THAT BECAUSE THERE WONT BE ANY BABIES ANY TIME SOON

McPiper: so when's the wedding

Smarter than you: sTOP

Save the environment, fuckers: hey Percy can I be best man/satyr

Perseaus: kajckskclsjclsjcalj

Smarter than you: sToP

[smarter than you is offline]

[perseaus is offline]

Save the environment, fuckers: WeLL tHaT wAs VeRy InTeReStiNG

G(old): very

Save the environment, fuckers: my years of third wheeling have led to sex

McPiper: Grover do you realize how weird that sounds

Save the environment, fuckers: now that I reread that, yeah I do


	20. Chapter 20

**Hhhhh I'm in class**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse**

* * *

G(old): I JUST ALMOST KILLED FRANK

Spooky scary skeletons: wHAT

Perseaus: what the hell happened oh my gods

Calala: Leo and Hazel and I were hanging out and Frank turned into a bee because apparently that's fun

Goldfish: it is

McShizzle: dude if I had your abilities I would've turned into a lion or a snake or something

Goldfish: being a bee is funner

Spooky scary skeletons: she hit you with a book didn't she

Perseaus: how could you forget about her bee allergies

Goldfish: you keep forgetting about Annabeth's peanut allergies so you're one to talk

McShizzle: lmao Frank's right yknow

Perseaus: ehh yeah he is

McShizzle: but honestly whether or not she was allergic, bees r fricking scary dude

Calala: Leo's right

Calala: I guess it's because small animals are way more vicious than big ones

Spooky scary skeletons: they have less place to store all their anger

Goldfish: that's ridiculous

Goldfish: give me one example of this

McShizzle: spiders

Calala: wasps

G(old): BEES

Perseaus: Nico

Spooky scary skeletons: fuck off Percy

Perseaus: perfect way to prove my point

G(old): we're at the New Rome Hospital

G(old): Will's healing Frank up

Calala: what're your injuries?

Goldfish: broken ribs and leg and nose

Perseaus: Hazel fucked you up good lmao

Goldfish: I waS A BEE

G(old): and I didn't mean to hurt him

G(old): I love him too much to purposely hurt him

Calala: I love Leo so much so I purposely hurt him while sparring

McShizzle: she doesnt

McShizzle: when we were trying to take boxing classes I asked her 2 punch me so I can dodge & she hugged me instead

Calala: fuck off

Perseaus: aww you two are adorable

McShizzle: yeeeeee

Spooky scary skeletons: sis want me to come over?

G(old): don't you have classes?

Spooky scary skeletons: all the more reasons to come over

Goldfish: you should come

Goldfish: Will looks like he's having a bad day

Goldfish: says he had to heal both Stolls because they got cursed

G(old): also said he spilled his coffee and didn't have time to make a new one

Spooky scary skeletons: oh crap Will's really fucking grumpy without coffee

Spooky scary skeletons: I'll go check up on him and come visit you two, ok?

G(old): sure

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

McShizzle: Calala would you come visit me if I didnt drink my coffee too

Calala: no

McShizzle: :((

Perseaus: honestly Leo you're hyper with or without coffee

Perseaus: you're a whole new level of ADHD

McShizzle: not true

G(old): oh but do you remember what happened from June 6-14 2016

McShizzle: HAZEL NO

Calala: Hazel yes

Goldfish: wait what happened

Calala: should I tell em?

McShizzle: bABE NO

Perseaus: TELL US

McShizzle: babe I'll get you KFC if you don't talk about the thing

Calala: hmm alright

Perseaus: lmao they're bribing

Goldfish: is it that embarrassing

McShizzle: yea

G(old): not really

G(old): Leo just likes to make a big deal about it

McShizzle: are you calling me overdramatic

Calala: yea

McShizzle: then you're absolutely right have a great day


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey guys, I published this story in wattpad if you wanna read it there. My username is gardnr!**

 **Today's chapter features sleep deprived Percy and Dolce andGabbana. The catnames were inspired by my own little soft cat calledGabbana.**

 **Also yes, Gabbana is a boys' name.**

 **[disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.]**

* * *

Spooky scary skeletons: death is a sport

Perseaus: yes

Perseaus: die enough and you'll become thicc

Save the environment, fuckers: wtf Percy

Perseaus: I'm sleep deprived leave me alone

Spooky scary skeletons: o how I crave death

Save the environment, fuckers: yesterday you were sobbing because you were "so grateful I'm alive this very second with Hazel and Will supporting me every step of the way"

[smarter than you is online]

Spooky scary skeletons: fcuck off and let me be emo

Perseaus: fcuck

Save the environment, fuckers: fcuck

[smarter than you changed the group name to "fcuck off"]

Spooky scary skeletons: Annabeth I trusted you

Smarter than you: your fault

Spooky scary skeletons: :((

Perseaus: what the fcuck

Save the environment, fuckers: I don't know whether that typo was intentional or not

Perseaus: Anna our cat just winked at me

Smarter than you: which one

Perseaus: Gabbana

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm still not over the fact that you named your two cats Dolce and Gabbana

Save the environment, fuckers: no matter how cute that pair's name is my favorite Percabeth cat is still Grover Jr

Smarter than you: cats wink at people when they like them

Smarter than you: Gabbana officially doesn't hate you

Perseaus: what the fcuck I thought he hated me

Save the environment, fuckers: ok that one was definitely intentional

Perseaus: :))

Spooky scary skeletons: :((

Smarter than you: Grover Jr winks at me all the time

Save the environment, fuckers: same

Spooky scary skeletons: me too

Perseaus: he hasn't winked at me once tho

Spooky scary skeletons: you're not even cats' types

Perseaus: fcuck off Gabbana loves me

Spooky scary skeletons: stop it

Perseaus: fcucking never

Spooky scary skeletons: unfriended

Spooky scary skeletons: blocked

Spooky scary skeletons: reported

Perseaus: Nico officially fcucking hates me

Save the environment, fuckers: no wonder you're not his fcucking type

[spooky scary skeletons left the group chat]

[smarter than you added spooky scary skeletons to the group chat]

Spooky scary skeletons: Annabeth why

Smarter than you: because I fcucking can

Spooky scary skeletons: I fcucking hate this group chat

* * *

[7pm, private conversation between Perseaus and Smarter than you]

Perseaus: you know what would be cool

Perseaus: just

Perseaus: if Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson, and Liam Payne just

Perseaus: collabed

Perseaus: Maybe Niall Horan could join too

Perseaus: it's a really random bunch but

Perseaus: don't you think it'd be cool?

Smarter than you: Babe please stop

Perseaus: what

Smarter than you: Percy why

Perseaus: what did I do

Smarter than you: Seaweed brain why are you like this

* * *

 **I hope y'all enjoyed skdkskclslxjskj**


	22. Chapter 22

**I wanted to show a new side to some of my favorite characters, so I present to you prankster Annabeth and even more UwU Nico**

 **Review of the day: ostrichface saying grover should change his username to "save the environment, fcuckers". That's what I originally let him do but later on decided to change. Great minds think alike, huh?**

 **Disclaimer: don't own the riordanverse or that goddamn awful test at the end**

* * *

Wouldiwas: Hey neecs

Wouldiwas: ily

Spooky scary skeletons: why would you do that to yourself

G(old): Nico no

Spooky scary skeletons: Nico yes

[Perseaus is online]

Perseaus: I want McDonald's right now

Spooky scary skeletons: I want McDonald's always

Smarter than you: I was planning on going to KFC

Smarter than you: but I can pass by McDonald's if you guys want

Wouldiwas: ew Anna how do you like KFC

Smarter than you: it's tastier than Taco Bell's

Wouldiwas: #offended

G(old): Wendy's is the best

Perseaus: Hazel no

Spooky scary skeletons: sis no

Smarter than you: Hazel please no

Wouldiwas: Hazel why

Perseaus: McDonald's wins everything

Smarter than you: The only thing McDonald's is succeeding in is killing half the American population

Spooky scary skeletons: Percy is this really the person you want to spend the rest of your life with

Smarter than you: wtf Nico

Spooky scary skeletons: don't offend my McDonald's ever again

Smarter than you: I'm not getting you McDonald's anymore

Spooky scary skeletons: I hate you all

Spooky scary skeletons: (except for sis and will)

Perseaus: Anna's the one who offended you tho?

Spooky scary skeletons: fuck off Percy

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

G(old): just get him a happy meal he'll be fine

Smarter than you: Seaweed brain I'm still passing by McDonald's what do you want

Perseaus: I want monsters to stop attacking me

Smarter than you: yeah I only have 30 dollars

Perseaus: nuggets then

Smarter than you: sure

G(old): I still like Wendy's

Wouldiwas: Hazel

Wouldiwas: honey

Wouldiwas: soon to be sis in law

Wouldiwas: why

G(old): i like the food there

G(old): really tasty

Smarter than you: wait did you propose to Nico

Smarter than you: "soon to be sis in law"?

Wouldiwas: FUCK

Wouldiwas: YOU GUYS WERENT SUPPOSED TO KNOW YET

Wouldiwas: also Nico proposed

Perseaus: wow Nico

Perseaus: what a brave lil shortie

G(old): Nico? My brother? Proposed? Asked you to marry? Him? What?

G(old): unlike him but I'm super proud of him and really happy to call you part of the family

Wouldiwas: aww

Smarter than you: congrats will

Perseaus: wait why weren't you supposed to tell

Wouldiwas: uhh we were supposed to announce the engagement together

[sparky sparky is online]

Sparky sparky: OHMYGOD YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MARRIED

Sparky Sparky: IM SO PROUD

Sparky Sparky: YOU GUYS WOULD BE GREAT HUSBANDS

Sparky Sparky: AND NICO ASKED

Perseaus: ok Jason's mama is showing I'm gonna leave

Smarter than you: same

—

[6pm, private conversation between Perseaus and smarter than you]

Smarter than you: babe

Smarter than you: you know that autocorrect settings thing in our phones?

Perseaus: yeah?

Smarter than you: I changed the settings in Grover's phone so whenever he says sorry it autocorrects to the fitness gram pacer test

Perseaus: wow babe

Smarter than you: sweetheart

Smarter than you: make him say sorry in the group chat

—

[6:05pm,group chat: Fcuck off]

Perseaus: Grover

Perseaus: let's play a game called finish the lyrics

Save the environment, fuckers: why

Perseaus: because I'm bored

Save the environment, fuckers: only because I love you

Perseaus: aww ilyt

Perseaus: anyways let's start

Perseaus: if you love me let me

Save the environment, fuckers: gOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Perseaus: okkkk

Perseaus: be quicker this time

Perseaus: is it too late now to say...

Save the environment, fuckers: The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly,but  
gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lapshould be completed each time you hear thissound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap  
beforethe sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.


	23. Chapter 23

**Ok, I'm an ass lol. I didn't do the persassy sassico I was requested, and I didn't write Grover's reaction. Instead, I decide to go ahead and continue trying to shove a bit of angst in a humor fanfic.**

 **Also, to answer anon's question, no I haven't read the burning maze, but I've read pages 304-305 and they're cURSED PAGES.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.**

* * *

McShizzle: 911 please shoot me

Sparky sparky: what the hell Leo

McShizzle: I just accidentally set myself on fire in the middle of a mall and I don't know how the mist works but I'm pretty sure everyone still saw me burning because there were too manyscreaming people

McPiper: Leo what the fUCK

McShizzle: I got excited lol

Sparky sparky: what's so exciting that you would literally set yourself on fire in the middle of a mall

McShizzle: dear Jason

McShizzle: I'll tell you soon enough

McPiper: Leo stop being cryptic wtf

McShizzle: being cryptic is my middle name

Sparky sparky: no your middle name is Bailey now what the hades was so important that you burned in public

McShizzle: wow Jason

McShizzle: just calling me out like that

McPiper: we call you out because we love you

McShizzle: aww I love you too

Sparky sparky: we love you more

Sparky sparky: now tell us

McShizzle: no

Sparky sparky: yes

McShizzle: no

Sparky sparky: yes

McShizzle: no

Sparky sparky: yes

McShizzle: no

Sparky sparky: yes

[Calala is online]

Calala: Annabeth told him there's a huge chance you would ask him to be the best man and he was really happy about it that I couldn't make him calm down before he started burning

Sparky sparky: oh

Sparky sparky: wow

McShizzle: yeah

McPiper: I thought you knew you would immediately be the best man

McShizzle: not really

McShizzle: the idea passed my mind a couple of times but i thought there was a bigger chance you'd ask Percy or Frank or Grover to be best man

McPiper: dude

McPiper: you've been with us every step of the way since day 1

McPiper: we'd walk through hell if it meant you'd be Jason's best man

Sparky sparky: Leo Valdez

Sparky sparky: my best friend, my bro, and one of the greatest people I've ever met

Sparky sparky: would you be my best man

McShizzle: obviously yea

Calala: he's crying on my lap

McShizzle: wow you guys really do love calling me out

Calala: we do it because we love you

McShizzle: I'm literally on your lap babe why are we even texting each other

Calala: ehh

[calala is offline]

McPiper: hey dude

McPiper: we love you, ok?

McShizzle: I love you two more

Sparky sparky: this still doesn't excuse the fact that you literally BURNED in public oh my gods

McShizzle: ehh it was worth it

—

[2am, private conversation between Monarachel and save the environment, fuckers]

Monarachel: if someone was a trans boy and he used to like Mulan as a kid does that mean Shang made a man out of him

Save the environment, fuckers: Rachel please go sleep

Monarachel: If spider-man was pansexual would that mean he's Peter Pan

Save the environment: Rachel please stop

Monarachel: if there was a pansexual dude named Nick at a CD store would that mean there's a pan nick at the disc co

Save the environment, fuckers: oh my gods bye

Monarachel: oh my gods, bi**


	24. Chapter 24

**SCHOOL SUCKS. I haven't updated because I've been feeling so unmotivated and much more depressed and stressed since school started, but I'll try my best to keep updating lol.**

 **Disclaimer: the riordanverse ain't mine.**

* * *

Perseaus: hey babe where are u

Smarter than you: showering

Perseaus: oh nice

Perseaus: can you send me a picture of your hair up in a giant spike lol

Smarter than you: wow babe

[smarter than you sent a picture]

Perseaus: qween

McPiper: I thought you were gonna ask her to send you pics and I was debating whether I should throw my phone into the fire because of it

Perseaus: I did ask her to send me a picture tho?

Perseaus: oh

Perseaus: oH

Perseaus: OH

Perseaus: WE DO NOT ASK FOR THAT SORT OF PICS HERE

Perseaus: NOT IN THIS CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD

Smarter than you: you're not even Christian wtf

Perseaus: ehhh the joke's still funny

[Wouldiwas is online]

Wouldiwas: OK PERCY QUICKLY TEAM GALE OR PEETA ITS FOR A BET WITH NICO

Smarter than you: Gale

McPiper: Peeta

Smarter than you: PIPER NO

McPiper: ANNABETH NO

Wouldiwas: wow guys

Wouldiwas: Percy I need you to answer

Perseaus: uhhh

Perseaus: I've never read or watched the hunger games lol

Smarter than you: he's too busy listening to panic at the disco to do so

Perseaus: Brendon Urie is a god of course I'd be too busy listening to him

McPiper: excuse you most gods are dicks Brendon is more of a legend

Perseaus: shit ur right

Wouldiwas: BUT THE BET GUYS

Wouldiwas: I NEED OCEAN BOY TO ANSWER

Perseaus: Team Finnick

Perseaus: the only good (and safe) answer

Wouldiwas: FUCK YEAH

Wouldiwas: NICO OWES ME TEN DOLLARS

Wouldiwas: Thank you for helping me win a bet goodbye have a good day

[wouldiwas is offline]

Perseaus: what even was the bet

Smarter than you: ehhhhhh who knows

Perseaus: I'm gonna go listen to the legend™️

Smarter than you: Percy I have all three of the Hunger Games books

Smarter than you: when you come back to our apartment you're gonna read all three of em, ok?

Perseaus: okkkkkk

Smarter than you: also we're having a hunger games movie marathon whenever you finish reading the three books so get your ass ready

McPiper: most couples would use the phrase "get your ass ready" for different reasons lmao

McPiper: you two dorks are adorable i love you two

Smarter than you: aww we love you too

Perseaus: yea the heck we do

Perseaus: also I found Wouldiwas and death boy in a bench at the park I'm hanging out in and apparently the bet was whether I'd say I'm in team finnick or not

Perseaus: Wouldiwas won

McPiper: Ocean boy only sides with ocean boys

[smarter than you changed the group chat name to: I love my ocean boy]

Perseaus: o Anna loves Finnick

Perseaus: should I be jealous

[smarter than you changed the group chat name to: Percy is an idiot]

Perseaus: you love me though

Smarter than you: yeah I do

Perseaus: I love you too ❤️


	25. Chapter 25

**I'm thinking about finishing the story chapter fifty? Idrk at this point lol.**  
 **  
**  
 **I wrote this instead of studying for chemistry lmao. Enjoy.**

 ****

 **Disclaimer: same as the last one.**

 **  
**

* * *

Spooky scary skeletons: but what if

Spooky scary skeletons: Sherlock an Jon gommarried

Smarter than you: ?

Wouldiwas: I'm sorry guys he's drunk

Spooky scary skeletons: thryreso inlovr wat the fuck

Spooky scary skeletons: John nd sherlick pronably have frelings for eacj other you guys

Perseaus: Nico you're wasted

Spooky scary skeletons: I wastedthrree yesrshsving a crush on you percyy

Perseaus: wow thanks

Smarter than you: wow ok

Wouldiwas: Thalia and Nico and I are at the bar and theyre gonna go sing karaoke

Wouldiwas: fUCK NICOS WASTED BUT HE STILL HAS A VOICE OF AN ANGEL SOMEONE HELP NICO JUST BROKE ME

[Wouldiwas sent a video]

Smarter than you: ok I gotta admit Thals and Nico sound good

Perseaus: wE SHOULD START A BAND

Perseaus: Nico and Thalia can sing and play guitar and Anna plays the piano and Will plays the drums

Perseaus: and I play

Perseaus: the kAZOO

Smarter than you: babe are you drunk too

Perseaus: only drunk on my love for you sweetheart

Perseaus: but seriously I'm not gonna drink alcohol until I'm 35 with my doctor's and my mom's permissions

[Beauty and Grace is online]

Beauty and Grace: reyna is so prettyyyyyyy

Spooky scary skeletons: no sht up shes my sister

Wouldiwas: Nico stop calling Reyna you're sister when she's more like your mother

Spooky scary skeletons: shut up sumdhine I never assed you

Beauty and Grace: Reyna is a queen UwU

Wouldiwas: No one assed me because I'm asexual

Beauty and Grace: assed means botox lol

Spooky scary skeletons: I just guesed itmeant sexed lol

Spooky scary skeletons: buthat was a typo sunshine boy

Wouldiwas: all of your messages are giant typos when you're drunk, Nico

Smarter than you: Thats it I'm picking all you drunk dumbasses up

Wouldiwas: please do

[Beauty And Grace changed their username to: Reyna stan UwU]

Reyna stan UwU: queen

Perseaus: oh my gods this entire group chat is a mess right now

Smarter than you: Percy you're gonna help me pick them up

Perseaus: nO

Perseaus: last time I tried picking up a drunk Nico he called some skeletons on me and I had to fight them in front of fucking mortals

Perseaus: it was a mess

Smarter than you: babe please

Smarter than you: I love you ❤️

Perseaus: fine

Perseaus: how do you manage to convince me to do random crap simply by telling me you love me

Perseaus: are you sure you don't use charmspeak

Smarter than you: charmspeak is for Aphrodite kids, babe

Reyna Stan UwU: aRE YO SURE YOURE NOT AN APJRODOTE KID

Wouldiwas: apjrodote

[Perseaus changed the group chat name to: Children of Apjrodote]

Spooky scary skeletons: Wiiiiiiiiiiiiill wen are we gonna mary

Wouldiwas: we didn't choose a date yet, babe

Spooky scary skeletons: I wanna marry you nooooooooooow

Wouldiwas: as flattered as I am right now, I'd rather have us being sober during the ceremony

Perseaus: babe u ready

Smarter than you: as ready as I'll ever be

Smarter than you: waiting in the car

Perseaus: Give me a sec I'll be right there

Reyna stan uwu: REYNAAAAAAAAAA

Smarter than you: ok Wouldiwas we're on our way

Perseaus: gods this is gonna be a mess


	26. Chapter 26

**I'm so tired. Family issues and school stress have finally gotten to me and I have a permanent headache, but at least I managed to write something to make myself and others smile :)))**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.**

* * *

McShizzle: I'm leaving college and becoming a prostitute because that's easier

Calala: no the fuck you wont

McShizzle: I'm leaving college and am going to work at McDonald's because I'm loyal to my girlfriend

Calala: that's better

Reyst in peace: why the fuck do you even wanna drop out

McShizzle: reyna no swearing we're in the presence of children

McShizzle: me

McShizzle: I am the child

Reyst in peace: oh my gods Leo just answer the goddamn question

Calala: his professor hates him and is giving him extra assignments is what's wrong

McShizzle: I am STRESSED because of that ugly witch

McShizzle: how am I supposed to open the Cal and Leo shop after collegeif this witch keeps trying to make me fail

[McPiper is online]

McShizzle: becoming a prostitute is easier

Calala: Leo no

McShizzle: working at McDonald's is easier

Calala: that's better

McPiper: we love a loyal boyfriend

McPiper: also hi guys

Reyst in peace: hey Pipes

Calala: hi

McShizzle: Reyna can't you just like

McShizzle: Fire her

McShizzle: you're praetor

McShizzle: you pretty much rule New Rome you can probably fire the professors in the colleges in here

Calala: that's not how it works babe

Reyst in peace: that's definitely not how it works

McPiper: can't you just like

McPiper: talk to her about it

Calala: Piper not a single teacher or professor has ever hated you you can't give advice about this

McPiper: some of them did!

Calala: example?

McPiper: uhhhhhh

Calala: I don't blame them tho

Calala: you're literally a daughter of "apjrodote" and even if you weren't you'd still be super cool

McPiper: yeah people liked me in school I guess

McShizzle: Pipes

McShizzle: everyone who wasn't a racist bitch adored you

McShizzle: you're literally a queen who decided to befriend to idiots when you moved to an idiotic school

Reyst in peace: two*

McPiper: I didn't like the attentionthough

McPiper: most people were just attracted to my appearance? And that kinda ruined the fun of popularity

McPiper: especially when it was teachers who were attracted to me

McShizzle: yikes™️

Calala: that's understandable really

McPiper: I guess I liked hanging out with the two idiots because they liked my personality really

Reyst in peace: yeah Jason's great

Reyst in peace: can't really say the same about Leo

McShizzle: rude

McShizzle: but yea you're super cool dude

McPiper: you're super cool too

McPiper: ily

McShizzle: aw ilyt

McShizzle: but back to the og topic

McShizzle: Rey rey fire professor witch please please please

Reyst in peace: no

McShizzle: fine

McShizzle: prostitute it is

Calala: Leo no

McShizzle: McDonald's it is

McPiper: hey dude

McPiper: Jason says his best man isn't gonna be working at McDonald's and he'll make sure of it

McShizzle: fine

McPiper: also

McPiper: Caleo and Reynado you wanna come over and watch Sherlock

Calala: sure

McShizzle: yES

Reyst in peace: don't you have an assignment to get to Leo

McShizzle: ehh that can wait

McShizzle: family bonding is more important

Reyst in peace: family?

McShizzle: uhh yeah

McShizzle: my sister Piper and my brother in law/best friend Jason and my girlfriend Calypso and my sister's best friend (you)

McShizzle: family

McPiper: Ugh it would've been so great if we were raised together

McShizzle: ikr

McShizzle: All the game nights we could've had

McPiper: All the movies we could've watched

McShizzle: All the gossip we could've shared

Calala: sometimes I really do wonder how you two aren't siblings

McPiper: yea

McPiper: Leo's the annoying little brother that I still love very much

McShizzle: I'm only a month younger than you Pipes

McPiper: still older than you

Reyst in peace: cmon guys lets go watch Sherlock

McShizzle: yeet


	27. Chapter 27

**This chapter is a good 800 words long yeet.**  
 **  
**

 **Thanks for the support everyone! It really means the world to me. I'm also trying to take as many requests as possible, so I'm sorry if I haven't taken or can't take yours.**

 ****

 **Disclaimer: don't own riordanverse.**

 ****

* * *

Calala: Hey! I don't know you that well, but I found your girlfriend's phone in the toilet in CHB, so I wanted you to tell her I'll give the phone to Chiron so she can pick it up. Thank you! ~ Katie Gardner

McShizzle: Okay thanks. I'll tell her.

McShizzle: Babe your phone is with Chiron.

McShizzle: Wait what

Calala: Oh my gods.

McShizzle: let's pretend like that didn't happen ok bye

—

[group chat: children of apjrodote]

McShizzle: hey guys does anyone know where my girlfren is

Sparky Sparky: I swear to gods Leo if this is another one of your "shes next to me because we're so in love and we spend every second together" jokes

McShizzle: NO I SERIOUSLY LOST MY GIRLFRIEND

McShizzle: SHE ISNT AT HOME AND APPARENTLY SHE LOST HER PHONE IN CAMP

Perseaus: dude chill she's hanging out with Annabeth and me in the Poseidon cabin

Perseaus: we're watching Sherlock without you

McShizzle: #offended

McShizzle: which episode are you guys watching anyways

Perseaus: we're gonna start the Richanback Fall or however the fuck that's spelled

McShizzle: oh no

Sparky sparky: oh no

Perseaus: oh fuck you guys watched this episode and we're in for a wild ride aren't we

McShizzle: hell yeah

McShizzle: but dude tell my girlfriend her phone is with Chiron

Perseaus: will do

Perseaus: wAIT WHAT THE FUCK SHERLOCK

Sparky sparky: we told you so

[Calala is online]

[Calala added old stoll and smol stoll]

[Calala is offline]

Old stoll: hell yeah

Sparky sparky: wait what the fuck is happening

Smol stoll: dude we stole Cal's phone from Chiron

Old Stoll: that was fun

Smol stoll: yeet

Old Stoll: can I add Gardner to this group chat

Smol Stoll: don't add your girlfriend to the group chat girls have cooties

Old Stoll: what the fuck Connor

[smarter than you is online]

[smarter than you removed Smol Stoll and Old Stoll from the group chat]

Smarter than you: I've already texted Chiron he's off to beat their asses

Sparky sparky: wow Anna

Smarter than you: yeah

McShizzle: idk why but during moments like these I can't stop thinking about how Anna is probably more of a dom than Percy Jackson him fucking self

Perseaus: she definitely is lmao

Smarter than you: wow guys

McShizzle: yea

Perseaus: also Cal got her phone back and Chiron just found the Stolls

Sparky sparky: wait wait since when were Katie and Travis dating

Perseaus: what

Sparky sparky: Connor called Katie Travis's boyfriend

Smarter than you: dude they've been dating for a whole year now

Smarter than you: there're rumors that Travis is gonna propose any day now

McShizzle: WAIT WHATTHEFUCK

Perseaus: WAIT SERIOUSLY

Smarter than you: yeah, but I bet Katie's gonna propose. Travis is too scaredy when it comes to relationships

Sparky sparky: WHAT

Smarter than you: I bet it'll take like another two weeks

Perseaus: I'm fucking shook

Smarter than you: you're just a dumbass babe

Perseaus: I'm your dumbass

Smarter than you: yea

McShizzle: you know what's really surprising

Smarter than you: ?

McShizzle: it's the fact that you two aren't married already oh my gods

Sparky sparky: yea you two are already the perfect couple tbh

Smarter than you: Percy's blushing

Perseaus: babe why do you call me out like this

Smarter than you: because I love you

Perseaus: heck now I'm blushing more

Perseaus: thanks babe

Smarter than you: you're welcome

McShizzle: really? Right in front of my salad?

[Calala is online]

Calala: will you guys fucking shut up I wanna watch Sherlock die

McShizzle: babe you're in for an emotional ride

Calala: ik

Sparky sparky: you know Caleo should get married too

McShizzle: we're waiting till after college because we're #responsible

Calala: more like #stressed

Perseaus: mood

Calala: shut up Percy

Perseaus: oof

Smarter than you: honestly you'd think rebuilding Olympus would be enough to get you a job

Smarter than you: but noooo

Smarter than you: you still gotta go through 500 years of college

McShizzle: college sucks let's all drop out and work at McDonald's

Sparky sparky: what is it with you and working at McDonald's

McShizzle: Emo boy likes that place so it sorta grew on me tbh

McShizzle: don't tell him that

[spooky scary skeletons]

Spooky scary skeletons: too late bitch

McShizzle: shit

Calala: oh wow Nico finally came out of his emo cave

Spooky scary skeletons: excuse you I'm still inside said emo cave

Perseaus: Nico Grover jr misses you

Smarter than you: he just shadow traveled over to pet the cat

Calala: I'm

Sparky sparky: mood

McShizzle: If you punch yourself and you get hurt does that make you strong or weak

Perseaus: weak

Sparky sparky: strong

Calala: a dumbass

McShizzle: wow thanks babe

Calala: yw


	28. Chapter 28

**Guys, I'm gonna end this story at chapter 50, so yea. I hope you like this fanfic since it's gonna end in two or three months' time lol.**

**Disclaimer: Idon't own the riordanverse.**

* * *

Perseaus: Nico have you ever thought of using Facebook

Perseaus: yknow

Perseaus: to stay in touch with your old friends

Spooky scary skeletons: If I want to stay in touch with my old friends I'd need an ouija board

G(old): this is sadly a mood

Wouldiwas: wow Hazel's learning modern slang I'm proud

G(old): thank you :)

G(old): since I learned some slang for you guys can Will do me a favor

Wouldiwas: sure I guess?

Perseaus: ?

G(old): please just marry my brother already

Spooky scary skeletons: hAZEL NO

G(old): he won't stop gushing about your engagement and although it's super cute I just want you guys to get married already

Spooky scary skeletons: hazel stooooop

Perseaus: dude

Perseaus: I'm making you a Facebook account

Spooky scary skeletons: don't you fucking dare Percy

Perseaus: already done

Perseaus: used your email account

Wouldiwas: before you ask I helped him create it and that's how he knew your email

Spooky scary skeletons: will why

Wouldiwas: cuz you gotta stay with the times Nico

Spooky scary skeletons: who even uses Facebook anymore

G(old): people

Spooky scary skeletons: old people

G(old): technically we're both really old bro

Spooky scary skeletons: idc I'm still not using it

Wouldiwas: if you don't use it I'm gonna post all of your embarrassing photos on said account

Spooky scary skeletons: even the one from Hawaii?

Wouldiwas: the one from Hawaii will be posted three times

Wouldiwas: I'll also post the really crappy one we took inFrance

Spooky scary skeletons: fuck tell me the password

Perseaus: the password is nicoisemo1940uwu

Spooky scary skeletons: wow thanks

Wouldiwas: yw babe

Spooky scary skeletons: also you guys were supposed to send me the password in private

Spooky scary skeletons: I guess the password's gotta change now

Perseaus: nOOO THE PASSWORD IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT

Spooky scary skeletons: go wish it goodbye Percy

Perseaus: :'(

G(old): can you guys make me a Facebook too

Perseaus: yess

Perseaus: next we gotta make Rachel join Facebook again

Wouldiwas: dude why doesn't she have a Facebook accountalready

Perseaus: oh she had one but she stalked me in it and liked a post from a thousand years ago and she was so embarrassed she deleted her account and said she'll never use Facebook again

Spooky scary skeletons: this is a story tumblr would dig

G(old): you have tumblr?

Spooky scary skeletons: yeah

Wouldiwas: wHO IN THE FUCKING WORLD HAS TUMBLR BUT DOESNT HAVE FACEBOOK BABE

Spooky scary skeletons: everyone babe

Wouldiwas: no one

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm gonna make you a tumblr account now

Wouldiwas: ugh fine

Wouldiwas: I'll only post on it because I love you

Spooky scary skeletons: I love you too

Perseaus: dudes we're in the presence of children don't act all romantic now

G(old): am I the child

Perseaus: yea you are

Spooky scary skeletons: wow Percy

Perseaus: :))))


	29. Chapter 29 out of 50

**You read that right. We're ending the fic at 50. It's been a long journey, and we're almost halfway there.**

 **I really like this chapter lol. Kinda reminds me of my other fic, An Apple A Day. Go check that out.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.**

* * *

McShizzle: Katy Perry really asked us if we ever feel like a plastic bag. She really did that.

Goldfish: shut up Leo

Perseaus: do you think she just sat there in her studio thinking "oh my god this is gonna be a bop" when she was about to compare us to plastic bags

Spooky scary skeletons: shut up Percy

Reyna Stan UwU: don't forget she also compared us to a house of cards

Reyna stan UwU: Do you ever feel

Perseaus: like a plastic bag

McShizzle: drIFTING THROUGH THE WINDS

Goldfish: wanting to start again

[Wouldiwas is online]

Wouldiwas: GIRLS LOVE GIRLS AND BOYS

Wouldiwas: AND NEVER DID I THINK THAT I WOULD BE CAUGHT IN THE WAY YOU CAUGHT ME

Goldfish: ok?

Wouldiwas: wrong timing great song

Spooky scary skeletons: babe ily but yea the timing was kinda off

Wouldiwas: ily more death boy uwu

Reyna Stan UwU: the Brendon stans duo have done it again

Reyna stan UwU: they've blinded us with their cuteness

Goldfish: I mean Brendon has a couple of good songs but I think he's kinda overrated

Perseaus: GASP

Spooky scary skeletons: HOW DARE YOU

Wouldiwas: OFFENDED

McShizzle: FOB is better lol

Reyna Stan UwU: honestly? Have to agree with supersized McShizzle

Perseaus: you all offend me I don't know why I talk to you guys

Wouldiwas: no one and nothing is better than PATD except Nico :(

Spooky scary skeletons: wrong no one is better than Brendon besides Will

Perseaus: oh my gods stop being so cute you dorks

Reyna Stan UwU: Will is the yee to Nico's haw

Goldfish: what the hell Thalia

Reyna Stan UwU: ehh

[Reyna Stan UwU changed their username to Thalia Graceful]

Thalia Graceful: who wants to bet on when Solangelo's gonna get married

Perseaus: a year because they're both lazy

Goldfish: they wouldn't want to wait that long I'm thinking around 5 months

Thalia Graceful: they wouldn't make their wedding before Jiper's itd be around 8 months

McShizzle: nah I'm betting around 7 months

Spooky scary skeletons: wow guys

Wouldiwas: Thals is right tbh

Thalia Graceful: FUCK YEAH

Perseaus: exact date?

Spooky scary skeletons: a mystery

McShizzle: cryptic

Spooky scary skeletons: cryptic is my middle name

Wouldiwas: I thought your middle name was mothman

Spooky scary skeletons: no that's my crush's name

Wouldiwas: wow should I be jealous of moth man

Spooky scary skeletons: nah I'd never replace you

Thalia Graceful: as cute as this is we still want an exact date

Wouldiwas: we'll tell you soon ;)

Goldfish: still very cryptic but take your time

Spooky scary skeletons: dude when are you gonna propose to my sister already

Goldfish: what

Perseaus: OOOOOOO FRAZEL

Thalia Graceful: I honestly want frazel babies already

Goldfish: I mean, let's wait for the Jiper and Solangelo weddings before we think about another one

Goldfish: also knowing Hazel, she'd probably want to propose to me lol

Perseaus: are you telling me that if I propose to Annabeth this second you'd tell others not to focus on it

Goldfish: that's not what I meant but if you really did propose then congratulations

Perseaus: wise girl threw an apple at me when we were 12 and I caught it we've been engaged since we were tweens

Wouldiwas: what

McShizzle: I'm confused lol?

Perseaus: you don't know about that ancient Greek thingy?

Thalia Graceful: aquaman no one knows what you're talking about

Spooky scary skeletons: moth man's secret admirer is confused

Perseaus: well um

Perseaus: in Ancient Greek times people used to throw apples as a form of engagement I guess? If you caught the apple you're officially engaged

Perseaus: and when we were twelve I wanted an apple and Anna threw one to me and freaked out years later becauseshe found out about what happened lol

Thalia Graceful: my daughter's engaged

Thalia Graceful: I'm proud

Goldfish: percabeth has been engaged before all of us rip

McShizzle: engaged at the age of 12 uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu

Goldfish: shut up Leo


	30. Chapter 30

**We hit a 100 reviews uwu. I honestly never expected that this fic would be good enough to hit 0.1k reviews! Thank you.**

 **Short chapter, but I really like it!**

 **[disclaimer: Idon't own the riordanverse.]**

* * *

McPiper: sometimes I feel like I ask too much from people

Smarter than you: you're not asking too much, you're just asking the wrong person

McPiper: oh thank god that means there's still someone who's willing to give me a $1500 cash gift for my wedding

Monarachel: what the fuck

Calala: mood

Smarter than you: ok I take back what I said

McPiper: too late I'm gonna go ask Leo

Calala: dont ask him his dramatic ass would actually do it

McPiper: too late I'm gonna get a $1500 cash gift for my wedding

Calala: I'll talk him out of it later

Monarachel: anyways,,

Monarachel: I went to the doctor yesterday and he said I have ligma

Calala: what's ligma

Smarter than you: rACHEL NO

Monarachel: liGMA BALLS

Monarachel: SKDJSKFKSKFJSJDJHJ

[Calala blocked Monarachel]

Monarachel: wait did Cal block me I can't see her messages

Monarachel: cal please unblock

Smarter than you: you don't deserve an unblock

McPiper: yea

Monarachel: I'm sorryyyyy

McPiper: Cal Rachel says she's sorry

[Calala unblocked Monarachel]

Monarachel: I want ask you to ligma balls again :(((

Calala: you're lucky I like you

Monarachel: but honestly I think I have upbitch

McPiper: what the fuck isupbitch

Monarachel: :)))))))

[McPiper removed Monarachel from the group chat]

Smarter than you: well deserved

McPiper: do you think Shiro from voltron has ligma and that's the terminal illness they were talking about

[Calala removed McPiper from the group chat]

Smarter than you: they're both begging mein priv to add them back

Calala: sigh

[Calala added McPiper and Monarachel]

Monarachel: shIRO HAS LIGMA SKDKSKFKSKFKDJFJDJGJ

Calala: why are you guys like this

Smarter than you: oh cmon you love us

Calala: ugh sadly true

McPiper: McShizzle is over at Jason and my house and I feel uncomfortable because there's a third wheel at the house

McPiper: me

McPiper: I'm the third wheel

Smarter than you: mood

Monarachel: guys do you know that video game with the lesbians and the blue haired chic

Calala: sonic the hedgehog

Monarachel: thanks

Smarter than you: Life is Strange?

Monarachel: oh yea thanks

Monarachel: my friend wants to get it and being the good friend that I am I'm buying it for her birthday uwu

McPiper: that's nice

McPiper: don't fail to tell her about the blue haired chic and the lesbians

Monarachel: skdkskfkskfksjfj

Calala: keyboard slamming is for the gays Rachel

Monarachel: bold of you to assume I'm straight

Smarter than you: I'm watching Halfblood Prince and I really cant do this ew

Smarter than you: movie Ginny is awful

Calala: ikr

Monarachel: Book Ginny is better breathe if you agree

Calala: breathes heavily

Smarter than you: bREATHE

McPiper: All Ginny's are queens :(

Monarachel: have fun dying because of lack of oxygen, fake fan

McPiper: rUDE

Monarachel: I'm sorry :,(

McPiper: it's ok ily

Monarachel: ily more


	31. Chapter 31

**XWFY: Oh I totally agree! You can find tiny hints about Rachel's crush on Percy throughout this fic. I just am a big fan of the bi Rachel theory (my gaydar blew up when I read about her), but I get it that you think she's straight! I don't want to make a lot of gay jokes anyways, so you don't have to worry about it. Also, thanks for reviewing a lot! Means the world to me.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.**

* * *

[Private conversation between Zeus hmu girls and Perseaus]

Zeus HMU girls: Perseaus Jackson

Zeus HMU girls: we are in need of a leader for a quest

Perseaus: no fuck u

* * *

[Group chat: Olympians and a couple of bitches]

Don't text Zeus: What did he say?

Zeus HMU girls: He said "no fuck u"

Sea u later bitches: tHATS MY SON

Magic uwu: We should ask Hazel she's cool

Cerberus is better: I agree

Zeus HMU girls: stop being a biased butch Hades

Sea u later bitches: biased butch

Artemis's twin: BIASED BUTCH

Apollo's twin: I thought biased butch was my role

Artemis's twin: don't worry sis you'll always be the biased butch in the family

Don't text Zeus: We should ask Leonidas Valdez for this quest. This quest involves fire, and he's perfect for the role. I never understood why you chose Perseus Jackson in the first place.

Sea u later bitches: EXCUSE YOU MY SON IS STRONG AND GOOD AND HE CAN STOP FIRE WITH HIS WATER POWER STFU HERA

Artemis's twin: Yea stfu Hera

Don't text Zeus: fuck you Apollo

Apollo's twin: hey don't insult my brother like that

Don't text Zeus: I would get angry at you but that's a perfect show of family love and I'm the goddess of families so I'm kinda happy

Cerberus is better: yes we have such a pERFECT family

Sea u later bitches: amazing fam

Artemis's twin: Hera is the goddess of fam

Apollo's twin: lit

Artemis's twin: GASP

Artemis's twin: YOU USED ACTUAL SLANG

Artemis's twin: MY YEARS OF HARD WORK HAVE FINALLY LED TO ARTY USING ACTUAL SLANG

Sea u later bitches: she's gonna stab you for calling her Arty

Artemis's twin: no she won't

Cerberus is better: yes she will

Don't text Zeus: she definitely will

Zeus HMU girls: prolly will

Apollo's twin: yea I will

Artemis's twin: oh fuck

Don't text Zeus: did magic girl just disappear

Cerberus is better: one of her magical tricks

Cerberus is better: disappearing

Cerberus is better: just like me during every winter solstice because you guys don't care enough about me to actually realize my presence

Zeus HMU girls: y'all here sumthin

Cerberus is better: fuck Zeus

Zeus HMU girls: that's what she said

Don't text Zeus: more like that's what they all fucking said

Zeus HMU girls: oh my fucking me Hera

Don't text Zeus: just spilling the tea

Artemis's twin: ok Hera used Twitter talk so Twitter is officially cancelled

Don't text Zeus: you guys should all go rot in hell

Cerberus is better: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IVE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST MILLENNIA

Apollo's twin: I honestly imagined you starting to paint

Sea u later bitches: yea I can see you as a painter

Cerberus is better: ...I've been taking art classes with Persephone

Apollo's twin: soft

Artemis's twin: awww def soft

Apollo's twin: I'm literally begging you to stop talking like a 15 year old in Twitter

Artemis's twin: umm girl let me spill the tea,, I would never stop this sis. Chief called and said my bi ass should never stop shister

Apollo's twin: fuck you

Artemis's twin: love you too


	32. Chapter 32

**Y'all heard of Persassy, but have you heard of Sassabeth?**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.**

* * *

Calala: hey guys wanna know what McShizzle told me when he was drunk yesterday

McShizzle: babe no

Calala: :)

Sparky sparky: sure

Perseaus: call him out queen

Smarter than you: do it

Calala: he asked me who the handsomest man in the world is

McShizzle: sIGH

Perseaus: it's me

Sparky sparky: no

Perseaus: :(

Calala: anyways,,

Calala: when I went "uhh you I guess" he answered with "false it's fucking Ryan Reynolds, Cal"

McShizzle: I STILL STAND WITH DRUNK ME'S OPINION

McShizzle: RYAN REYNOLDS LOOKS HOT (pun intended)

Perseaus: I gotta agree on this one

Sparky sparky: me 2 lol

Smarter than you: I would say me three but you'll always be the most handsome dude to ever exist

Perseaus: and you'll always be the smartest funniest most adorable nerd to ever exist

Calala: oh my gods they're being smoochy I'm leaving

[calala is offline]

McShizzle: you guys are adorably gross

Smarter than you: and you have a giant celebrity crush on Ryan Reynolds like every basic white bitch does so stfu

Sparky sparky: oh fuck Anna just murdered Leo

McShizzle: I didn't mean it as an insult :(

Perseaus: lmao too late you've already been murdered

McShizzle: I'm too hot for earth anyways

McShizzle: hell is where it's at

Perseaus: trust me, as a person who's actually been through hell and back, hell is not where it's at

Smarter than you: do you think Arachne is still in Tartarus

Sparky sparky: maybe

Sparky sparky: she probably is

McShizzle: press f to pay respects

Smarter than you: I will NOT pay respects to that bitch

Perseaus: mood

Perseaus: me Nancy from sixth grade

Perseaus: me Zeus

Perseaus: me Hera

Perseaus: ME SMELLY GABE

[spooky scary skeletons is online]

Spooky scary skeletons: shut up Percy

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

Sparky sparky: did he just enter the chat to tell you to shut up and leave

Smarter than you: mood

Perseaus: :(

Sparky sparky: turn that frown upside down

Perseaus: ):

Sparky sparky: Fuck you

Perseaus: :)

McShizzle: oh my gods

[Thalia Graceful is online]

Thalia Graceful: hey bitches

Sparky sparky: Thals would you ever stop calling us bitches

Thalia Graceful: I'll stop when pigs fly

Perseaus: jokes on you I faught an actual fucking giant flying boar while fighting Kronos

McShizzle: shit that sounds cool why couldn't I be part of that

Smarter than you: it's not cool when it's about to kill you

McShizzle: oh my gods imagine dying in the hands of a giant flying fucking pig

McShizzle: that would be the best way to die ever

Perseaus: ikr

Thalia Graceful: anyways bitches,,

Thalia Graceful: I'm hanging out with a bunch of friends rn

Perseaus: didn't know you had any

Thalia Graceful: fuck off bitch #2

McShizzle: who's bitch number one

Thalia Graceful: Anna because she's the best outta all of y'all

Perseaus: does that mean I'm second best

Thalia Graceful: no that means you're shit and a number 2

Perseaus: disappointed but not surprised

Thalia Graceful: as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted,,,

Thalia Graceful: I was hanging out with a bunch of friends and they told me I should watch Brooklyn 99 so yea we're binge watching together this weekend losers

Sparky sparky: I'm working on an essay Thals

Thalia Graceful: idc we're binge watching together losers

Sparky sparky: fine

Sparky sparky: I guess I can finish it by tomorrow

Perseaus: hey do you ever wonder why frank never texts here

Smarter than you: because he's fucking sane

McShizzle: also because I'm always online when he's online and he's stopped dealing with my bullshit a long time ago

[Calala is online]

Calala: gods I wish I could relate

[Calala is offline]

McShizzle: sIGH


	33. Chapter 33

**This chapter was just to send a message really. Sometimes we really do feel guilty for taking a break and I just wanted to tell you guys it's fine and ok and don't let assholes tell you shit about it. I also wanted to say that sometimes someone just doesn't know how you feel because they've never been in your shoes and even though they're just trying to do what's best for you, they're just failing at it. It's hard to deal with, but I promise you're strong enough to deal with this bs. I've gone through this before with my friends and family and I know it feels like shit. I love you guys so much.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse.**

* * *

McPiper: guess who just got married!

Perseaus: we were literally all at the wedding Piper

Smarter than you: also you got married a month ago

McPiper: you guys are no fun

[McPiper changed their name to Mrs Grace]

Sparky sparky: babe you're actually Mrs McLean-Grace

Mrs Grace: you're no fun either

[Mrs Grace changed their username to McLean Grace]

McLean Grace: ew my mom's texting me brb

Perseaus: I love how you just go "ew" when you realize your mom's texting you

McLean Grace: ikr

* * *

[private conversation between Best Goddess and McLean Grace]

Best Goddess: how was the wedding, baby? I'm sorry I couldn't attend

McLean Grace: it was great mom

Best Goddess: i see you've changed your username for the occasion

McLean Grace: mom the "occasion" was literally a month ago

Best Goddess: oh shit really? I lost track of time lol

Best Goddess: I thought it was two days ago

Best Goddess: sorry I didn't text you earlier baby

McLean Grace: it's fine

Best Goddess: honestly that Jason boy is really great

Best Goddess: I was really disappointed when you broke up with him

McLean Grace: I needed time to figure out my sexuality mom

Best Goddess: I knooooow but have you seen him

Best Goddess: honestly perfect man for you! I'm just glad you finally came to your senses and married him

Best Goddess: I really don't see the need behind that break

Best Goddess: everyone already knew you were gonna get married

McLean Grace: I needed to figure out my sexuality so I don't feel guilty in the relationship? I've tried telling you so many times already

Best Goddess: why feel guilty being with that hunk of a man

Best Goddess: there's nothing to be guilty about

McLean Grace: mom just stop

Best Goddess: you just don't want to admit you're wrong, but the break really was unneeded

Best Goddess: true love is true love and you were just delaying it with that break of yours

McLean Grace: whatever

McLean Grace: bye

—

[private conversation between McLean Grace and Smarter than you]

McLean Grace: Annabeth how did you manage to figure out your sexuality while still being with Percy

Smarter than you: what

McLean Grace: sorry that was random but your sexuality

McLean Grace: you realized you were bisexual while still dating Percy

McLean Grace: how did you do that

Smarter than you: Piper what the fuck did your mom say to you

McLean Grace: that doesn't matter

Smarter than you: yes it does because I'm sure you're feeling guilty because you only talk like that when you're sad

McLean Grace: I didn't talk in any way

Smarter than you: oh my gods stop acting like you aren't sad

Smarter than you: I can literally see your sadness through these texts

McLean Grace: fine

McLean Grace: mom just said some shit about me breaking up with Jason and how it disappointed her and that I didn't need that sexuality break

McLean Grace: now pleeeeeaaaase answer the question

McLean Grace: pretty please with a cherry on top

Smarter than you: look Piper, your mom has never and will never be gay

Smarter than you: I'm pretty sure she's straighter than Jason and that's saying something

Smarter than you: she doesn't know what taking a break is and why you need time to figure out your sexuality

Smarter than you: just because she knows what attraction is doesn't mean she knows how hard it is to realize who you're attracted to

McLean Grace: I know

Smarter than you: don't let her get to you, ok?

Smarter than you: and just so you know, Percy and I both took a break because even though we knew we're in love we knew we had to deal with our sexualities so we can have a healthy relationship

McLean Grace: WAIT REALLY

McLean Grace: WHEN

Smarter than you: uhh when we were like twenty

Smarter than you: I told him "hey babe I might be bi" and he was just like "lol me too" and I went "how about we don't call it quits but let's just be chill for a while so we can realize who we're attracted to" and he was all like "yeah that's fine"

Smarter than you: and I don't think anyone noticed because we were still pretty close and three months later we got back together

McLean Grace: HOW DID NO ONE NOTICE

Smarter than you: people are blind bby

McLean Grace: lol true

McLean Grace: Jesus crispy I cant believe people really didn't realize

Smarter than you: Jesus crispy?

McLean Grace: I MEANT JESUS CHRIST

McLean Grace: shit

McLean Grace: but honestly thanks Anna

Smarter than you: please don't call me Anna

McLean Grace: everyone already calls you Anna!

Smarter than you: Gods I wish that nickname didn't spread

McLean Grace: too late for that sweetie

McLean Grace: but seriously, thanks. You really are a great friend

Smarter than you: anytime

Smarter than you: just don't feel guilty for your sexual orientation and the fact that you needed a break because of it, ok?

McLean Grace: I'll try my best

—

[McLean Grace changed the group name to "I'm in love"]

McLean Grace: I'm in love with you bby

Sparky sparky: aww I'm in love with you too

Smarter than you: I can't wait till I'd be in your place Pipes

McLean Grace: Annabeth just dropping off hints that she wants Percy to propose

Perseaus: wait what

McLean Grace: nOTHING

Perseaus: WAIT ANNA YOU WANT ME TO PROPOSE?

[Smarter than you is offline]

Perseaus: WHAT THE FUCK

Sparky sparky: I can help you shop for a ring

Perseaus: we'll go ring shopping tomorrow

* * *

 **Percabeth proposal next? Lol maybe**


	34. Chapter 34

**Unicorn horn powder: I'm glad I can help! Here's a few things to learn: demisexuality is debatable really. Some people think it's made up and is just a preference, some people think it's an actual thing. I switch between the two arguments regularly because I'm open minded and people keep bringing in new evidence and crap. Also, I learned I was a lesbian before going out with anyone or even getting my first kiss, so I was really ok with all that. My friend on the other hand discovered she might like girls while in a relationship with a guy. It was based entirely off past experiences and that she still thought girls are hot (she was still pretty loyal). Some people take breaks or end relationships because they need time to discover their own sexualities. I would honestly feel guilty dating someone while discovering my sexuality but it depends on the person and the person they're dating. There's also the tucute transmedicalist/truscum drama that you have to google. Personally I'm a transmedicalist/truscum. If you want to learn more, my instagrams are dreamworkshera, garrdener, and paperheartts.**

—

[group: yo bois]

[members: Perseaus + Sparky Sparky + Travis Gardner + Prettier Stoll + Chrissy + Spooky scary skeletons + Beckendolphin (inactive, last texted in 9 years) + McShizzle + Goldfish + Wouldiwas +

Save The Environment, fuckers]

Perseaus: ok should I get her a diamond ring

Save the environment, fuckers: oh my gods Percy of course you need to get a diamond ring

Travis Gardner: I mean Katie proposed to me so I really can't give advice on that

Chrissy: I honestly got clarisse a ring with no jewels in it because that's what she likes

Perseaus: aNNABETH DOESNT EVEN WEAR RINGS I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE LIKES

Travis Gardner: dude just search thru the drawers and search for one of her rings so you'd know her style

Perseaus: first of all I'm not even at our house

Perseaus: second do you have any morality

Travis Gardner: hey dude whatever makes your girl happy

Save the environment, fuckers: she's not his girl she's a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man and isn't any man's property but she decides to be with Percy because they're so fucking cute together and she loves him

Travis Gardner: what the fuck Grover

Save the environment, fuckers: sorry I love my adorable smartie sister

Chrissy: your deadly sister who almost killed everyone in this group chat

Save the environment, fuckers: and was somehow still adorable while doing it

Perseaus: and honestly most of us deserved it lmao

Perseaus: especially Travis

Travis Gardner: hEY

Perseaus: truth hurts bro

Travis Gardner: ok I gotta admit the spider move was scary but sHE TWISTED MY ANKLE

Chrissy: and you made her think she was gonna die?

Travis Gardner: ok I admit that was kinda shitty

Travis Gardner: tell ur girlfriend I'm sorry

Perseaus: sure

Perseaus: ok I found a pretty one

Perseaus: gold ring diamond on top

Perseaus: simply and pretty

Perseaus: Jason doesn't like it

Chrissy: Jason's really picky with rings

Chrissy: Leo says Jason wouldn't leave for hours when they went ring shopping for Piper

Perseaus: I'm going to die

Perseaus: this is more stressful than both the wars together

Travis Gardner: didn't you already propose to Anna with an Apple already

Perseaus: WELL AT LEAST SOMEBODY REMEMBERS

Save the environment, fuckers: oh cmon you can't hold it against me that I forgot something that happened around 100 years ago

Perseaus: I can and I will :(

Perseaus: but we weren't aware that we were engaged so I gotta make it official

Perseaus: I'm gonna throw her an apple again but I'll have a ring with me this time

Chrissy: cute

Travis Gardner: very

Save the environment, fuckers: picnic date?

Perseaus: yup

Perseaus: same as our first date

Chrissy: even cuter

Perseaus: WAIT GUYS I FOUND A PRETTY ONE

Perseaus: DO YOU GUYS KNOW THAT ONE BOUTIQUE THAT SELLS THAT ROSE GOLD FLOWER SHAPED WEDDING RING

Chrissy: yeah I think Travis was thinking of getting a diamond ring with leaf shapes on it or something like that from there

Perseaus: IM GETTING A ROSE SHAPED ONE

Perseaus: even Jason likes it it's perfect

Travis Gardner: now that I think about it I probably should've actually gotten Katie-Kat a ring from there instead of wimping out lol

Save the environment, fuckers: wow trav

Travis Gardner: but im the wife in the relationship so I couldn't even propose

Chrissy: press f to pay respects

Save the environment, fuckers: F

Travis Gardner: F

Chrissy: F

Perseaus: lol these are my grades during high school

Chrissy: what the fuck Percy

Perseaus: I would've failed high school if it weren't for my girlfriend

Perseaus: AND THATS ANOTHER REASON I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND ANOTHER REASON I NEED TO GET HER THE PERFECT RING

Save the environment, fuckers: did you get her the flower one

Perseaus: yup

Perseaus: wish me luck boys

Perseaus: proposal in 1 day, 6 hours, 12 minutes

Save the environment, fuckers: good luck bro

Travis Gardner: hey bros do you dare me to tell the entire world I love you guys

Perseaus: do it bro

Chrissy: don't forget to film it

Travis Gardner: I love you bros

Save the environment, fuckers: you literally just sent it to the group chat

Travis Gardner: that's because y'all are my entire world bros

Perseaus: BRO

Save the environment, fuckers: AW BRO

Chrissy: b r o

Travis Gardner: but good luck dude

Perseaus: thanks

Perseaus: Gods this gonna be scarier than fighting monsters and fucker face Kronos and bitchy face Gaea combined

Save the environment, fuckers: dude it's just a proposal

Perseaus: still scary

Perseaus: :0 my hopefully future fiancée is calling me bye dudes

[perseaus is offline]

Save the environment, fuckers: He's not gonna propose

Chrissy: what

Save the environment, fuckers: oh cmon Percy's like a brother to me and I know he's too scared to mess anything up with Anna because he likes her too much

Save the environment, fuckers: I bet ten dollars he's gonna get too scared to propose tomorrow

Travis Gardner: I'm ready to take that bet

Chrissy: same

Save the environment, fuckers: I hope I lose this bet but chances are I'm gonna win

Travis Gardner: Percy wILL propose tomorrow

Chrissy: yea

Save the environment, fuckers: hopefully

—

sorry for not updating! I've been really busy but I'll try to update ASAP!


	35. Chapter 35

**XWFY: you're literally so nice skskfksfksj thank you! That review actually made me really happy (I mean all the reviews do but your review made my day). Thank you again!**

 **Guest: yeah I'm back! My broken phone was getting on the way of me uploading anything, but it's fine now.**

—

Perseaus: I DIDNT PROPOSE

Save the environment, fuckers: Chris Travis you guys owe me ten dollars each

Perseaus: did u literally bet on whether I was going to propose

Save the environment, fuckers: it's not like I wanted to win

Perseaus: wow Grover

Save the environment, fuckers: luv u 2 Percy

Perseaus: anyways I was going to propose but then I died thinking of the 101 ways she could say no and 51 of them included us breaking up so I got too nervous

Prettier Stoll: so u wimped out lol

Spooky scary skeletons: shut the fuck up stoll you've had tinder for two years now and you still haven't gotten one match you seriously aren't one to talk about relationships

Prettier Stoll: oUCH

Prettier Stoll: THAT STINGS

Spooky scary skeletons: good

Spooky scary skeletons: anyways

Spooky scary skeletons: I know proposals are scary. Take your time proposing to Annabeth

Perseaus: sigh I'm trying

Perseaus: wait is it bad to talk to someone who had a crush on me about proposing to my gf

Spooky scary skeletons: no cuz ur no longer my type

Perseaus: understandable

Save the environment, fuckers: speaking of marriage

Save the environment, fuckers: date of Solangelo wedding?

Spooky scary skeletons: it's in like two months

Prettier stoll: am I invited

Spooky scary skeletons: no

Prettier stoll: disappointed but not surprised

Perseaus: exact date?

Spooky scary skeletons: October 14 hopefully

Spooky scary skeletons: it's honestly weird how much happiness Will brings into my life

Prettier Stoll: it's called love, di Angelo

Spooky scary skeletons: is that a disease

Perseaus: I can't wait to show up ur wedding wearing my new boxers and my bunny slippers

Spooky scary skeletons: there's no way in hell im letting my best man wear boxers and bunny slippers to my wedding you're gonna wear your fucking suit Percy

Perseaus: sIGH fine

Save the environment, fuckers: ok but dude seriously you gotta propose

Save the environment, fuckers: you and Annabeth said you'd get married when you're 21 and you're obviously older than that now

Perseaus: dude I'm nERVOUS

Prettier Stoll: hi nERVOUS I'm Travis

Spooky scary skeletons: shut the fuck up stoll

Prettier Stoll: why do u hate me so much :,(

Spooky scary skeletons: ehh

Perseaus: ok I'll try to just,,, make a new romantic date so I can propose

Spooky scary skeletons: meanwhile you and I are gonna go get ice cream to calm down ur nerves

Perseaus: yes pls

Save the environment, fuckers: can you pick me up on the way

Spooky scary skeletons: sure

Prettier Stoll: me too pls

Spooky scary skeletons: no

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

Prettier Stoll: look,, the problem is that I don't know whether he was joking or not so I don't know whether to get ready or not

Perseaus: I'll convince him to get u

Prettier Stoll: thanks bby

Prettier Stoll: also I bet ur proposal will go great so don't worry bout it

Save the environment, fuckers: yea. Anna loves you too much to break up with you over a proposal

Perseaus: hOPEFULLY

Perseaus: lets just eat ice cream for now

—

 **I love having Nico make fun of Percy but Nico genuinely cares about Percy even though he no longer likes him that way and I just wanted to show that in this chapter lol.**

 **Also I'm making time skips so the date in the story can match the date irl.**

 **Percy won't propose till after the Solangelo wedding sorry babes ¯\\_(** **ツ** **)_/¯**


	36. Chapter 36

**This has gone back to becoming a dtress relief fanfic sIGH. midterms have officially started, losers.**

 **disclaimer: i dont own the riordanverse.**

* * *

McShizzle: did you guys know Nico has the HOTS for me

Spooky scary skeletons: I do nOT

Spooky scary skeleton: I'm literally engaged you fucker

Spooky scary skeletons: also that was a terrible pun

McShizzle: can't take back what you said

Perseaus: what the fuck is happening

Sparky sparky: we were playing kiss marry kill and Nico was given the choice between

Sparky sparky: wait who were the choices again I forgot

Spooky scary skeletons: sIGH

Spooky scary skeletons: Percy Jason Leo

Perseaus: let me guess marry McShizzle kiss Sparky Sparky kill Perseaus

Spooky scary skeletons: sorry :)

Perseaus: that sarcastic smiley face is untrustworthy

McShizzle: bUT Nico has the hots for me he's soooo into me he loves me so fucking much uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu

Spooky scary skeletons: ok I change my answer I'd kill you

McShizzle: too late babe you wanna marry me

Sparky sparky: literally this is Chris's bachelor party all over again

Perseaus: wait I was sick during Chris's bachelor party what happened

Spooky scary skeletons: dONT YOU FUCKING DARE TELL HIM

Spooky scary skeletons: I WILL PERSONALLY HAVE MY DAD CURSE YOU AND LET YOU SUFFER THE WORST FATE IN HELL

Sparky sparky: chill dude

McShizzle: Nico and I made out lmao

Spooky scary skeletons: nooooooo

Sparky sparky: but to be fair we were playing spin the bottle and the pair asked their boyfriend and girlfriend before kissing

McShizzle: my bisexual awakening

Perseaus: u used to talk about being bi when u were like 17

McShizzled: I've been called out

Spooky scary skeletons: we didn't make out. We kissed quickly for the sake of the game because I knew Chris is an ass who would be disappointed if we didn't play

McShizzle: I beg to differ

Spooky scary skeletons: then beg

Perseaus: wow nico

Sparky sparky: it was somewhere between making out and kissing

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm gonna personally make sure you two go to hell and suffer the worst fate ever

McShizzle: you wouldn't do that to ur not so secret crush would you ;)

Spooky scary skeletons: fuck you, valdez

McShizzle: is that an insult or a to do list

Spooky scary skeletons: oh my gODS

[wouldiwas is online]

Wouldiwas: oh my gods are u still arguing about the Chris La Rue bachelorette party spin the bottle

Perseaus: lmao Chris the bachelorette

Sparky sparky: pls help they won't shut up

McShizzle: hey Wouldiwas I'm stealing ur fiancé

Spooky scary skeletons: no you're not you bitch

Perseaus: will pls help

McShizzle: hE SAID HE'LL MARRY ME WHEN WE WERE PLAYING KISS MARRY KILL

Spooky scary skeletons: WELL I WAS GIVEN PERCY JASON AND YOUR DUMB ASS

Spooky scary skeletons: PERCY SUCKS AND JASON IS A BROTHER TO ME WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO

Perseaus: offended but not surprised

McShizzle: too late neecs ur in love with me

Wouldiwas: idk why that sentence actually made me jealous I'm

Spooky scary skeletons: don't worry babe I have standards

Sparky sparky: oh and what standards are those

Spooky scary skeletons: I need a dumbass but a smart dumbass. I need someone who makes my heart uwu. I need a person who isn't ugly like McShizzle

McShizzle: d

Spooky scary skeletons: good

Wouldiwas: glad I'm the only cute smart dumbass that makes ur heart uwu

Spooky scary skeletons: love you will

Wouldiwas: love you more neecs :)

Perseaus: my girlfriend just fell asleep in the library again should I be surprised

Sparky sparky: what

Perseaus: the librarian called me bc she wants to close the library and my girlfriend fell asleep there for the thirty seventh time

Perseaus: have been counting

Perseaus: she's cute but she overworks herself when it comes to reading and it makes me worry

[smarter than you is online]

Smarter than you: babe I'm fine

Perseaus: I'm coming to pick you up, ok?

Smarter than you: sure

Smarter than you: love you

Perseaus: love you more

[smarter than you is offline]

McShizzle: BIG UWU VIBES

[wouldiwas changed the group chat name to "stan percabeth"]

Perseaus: we Stan a power couple

Sparky sparky: uwu

Spooky scary skeletons: anyways I'm not into that hotheaded dumbass because I'm fucking engaged have a good day

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

McShizzle: he's definitely into me

Wouldiwas: I'm nOT -Nico

McShizzle: sigh

* * *

 **idk i was bored**


	37. Chapter 37

**Unicorn horn powder: the date in the fanfic doesn't match the one in real life yet, but I hope I'd write Christmas fluff during or near Christmas time! Time skips are great**

 **I was planning on making a chapter for each of their birthdays but I'm a lazy butthole so have a solangelo wedding.**

—

[October 14]

Perseaus: GUYS

Perseaus: FUCK

Perseaus: I CANT FIND MY TIE

Perseaus: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE BEST MAN WITHOUT THE TIE

Perseaus: THE WEDDING STARTS AT LIKE AN HOUR

Spooky scary skeletons: oh my fucking gods Percy

G(old): what's the last place you've seen it at

Perseaus: I have the memory of a fish how am I supposed to know

Smarter than you: that's offensive to fish

Spooky scary skeletons: took the words right outta my mouth

G(old): maybe frank knows where it is?

G(old): ok nvm frank says he has no clue

G(old): he also says that this wedding means a whole lot to Nico and Will and me and that he'd turn into a shark and bite ur head off if you mess it up

Perseaus: mean frank makes me giggle

Perseaus: i dont know why

Perseaus: whenever frank says anything that can be seen as mean I just giggle

Spooky scary skeletons: honestly me too

Spooky scary skeletons: But for fuck's sake Percy where did you lose the goddamn tie

Perseaus: I DONT KNOW

Smarter than you: it's in my purse lol

Smarter than you: I wanted to wait to see how long it would talk for seaweed brain to realize his tie has disappeared

Smarter than you: exactly 43 minutes and 32 seconds

Perseaus: did you have to worry me like that :'(

Smarter than you: sorry babe :)

Spooky scary skeletons: I wanna get married immediatelyyyyy

G(old): Nico are you already drunk

Spooky scary skeletons: drunk on the chemicals that are called love

G(old): what the fuck

Smarter than you: no fucking swearing in this goddamn Christian Minecraft server

Perseaus: wow ok

[Wouldiwas is online]

Wouldiwas: nicoooooooooo I love you

Spooky scary skeletons: love can wait till the wedding starts loser

Wouldiwas: rude

Spooky scary skeletons: sigh love u too

G(old): hECK DAD ARRIVED

Spooky scary skeletons: fuck he said he wasn't coming

G(old): he lied

Wouldiwas: wait he's hERE

Wouldiwas: gods damnit hades scares me

Smarter than you: hey at least your dad isn't at the wedding

Perseaus: oh my gods Apollo prolly wouldn't stop singing if he came

G(old): dad says this place isn't as emo as he expected

Spooky scary skeletons: what the fuck dad

Wouldiwas: I AM GOING TO D I E

Smarter than you: Will go take ur Xanax

Wouldiwas: not even Xanax can help me now

Perseaus: Wise girl where are u I need my tie

Smarter than you: I'm next to the front seats

Perseaus: I'm coming now

Wouldiwas: babe babe babe I think I hear the sun chariot pulling up I hate this

Spooky scary skeletons: oh heck oh fuck oh heck oh fuck oh heck oh fuck

Spooky scary skeletons: Hazel can you please separate Jason and Apollo and make sure they're far away as possible

G(old): already did so big bro

[sparky sparky is online]

Sparky sparky: wHY THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKER HERE

Perseaus: it's his son's wedding

G(old): sun**

Perseaus: thank u Hazel love you

G(old): uwu

Sparky sparky: Will you're too good to be Apollo's son

Wouldiwas: thanks?

G(old): hey Jason lets go get you a drink

Sparky sparky: I'm not sitting next to that ugly sun boy

Spooky scary skeletons: you won't don't worry

[sparky sparky is offline]

G(old): ugly sun boy

Perseaus: ugly sun boy

Wouldiwas: ugly sun boy

[smarter than you changed the group chat name to: "ugly sun boy"]

Wouldiwas: ok my wedding's in an hour so y'all better leave your damn phones and get ready

Perseaus: sorry daddy will

Spooky scary skeletons: never say that again

[Wouldiwas is offline]

Smarter than you: did you guys know that October 14 is the perfect mixture of Halloween and valentine's

Spooky scary skeletons: that's why will and I chose this date lol

Perseaus: that's so fucking cool

Spooky scary skeletons: only the best for Will

G(old): cuties

G(old): wedding time babes!

G(old(: Percy do you have your tie

Perseaus: yup

G(old): Nico are you ready

Spooky scary skeletons: Leo won't stop trying to fix my hair but other than that yeah

G(old): Anna are Hades Apollo and Jason apart

Smarter than you: If they weren't this place would've set on fire already lmao

G(old): well then let's get this party started!

Spooky scary skeletons: finally :))

—

 **ive been really sad and unmotivated lately but I'll hopefuly upload two more chapters before New Years uwu**


	38. Chapter 38

**Merry Christmas babes**

 **By the way, Rachel, Nico, Will, Annabeth, and Percy all went over to Sally's house during Christmas, just to clear things up.**

 **[Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse but I sure do own a beautiful cat that I'm cuddling with right now because he's a cutie.]**

[Thalia Graceful is online]

Thalia Graceful: Merry Christmas sluts

Calala: hi Thals

Thalia Graceful: hi sweetheart

Monarachel: Nico just went "fellas is it gay to uhh be a guy who loves his husband" and Percy just replied "ehh don't see how that's gay" I hate my friends

McShizzle: nothing is gay if you say no homo

McShizzle: also weird question but if you found your own clone would you fuck it or not

Calala: that's incest

McShizzle: selfcest, babe

G(old): I would not fuck my own clone because 1) that's nasty 2) I'm straight

Monarachel: I mean it's just like masturbation tho lmao

Calala: no the heck it isn't

McShizzle: this entire thing brings a whole new meaning to "go fuck yourself"

Monarachel: sexy

Thalia Graceful: guys shut the fuck up this is why Santa only gave us coal this Christmas

Calala: Santa hates us what the fuck

[Perseaus is online]

Perseaus: MERRY CHRISTMAS LADS AND LADIES

Thalia Graceful: merry Christmas

Perseaus: I CAME HERE TO TELL YOU THAT I HAVE THE CUTEST GIRLFRIEND EVER IM SCREAMING

Perseaus: SHES SO PRECIOUS AND ADORABLE LOOK AT HER

[Perseaus sent a photo]

Perseaus: Sleepy gf

Perseaus: only thing I need for Christmas is my gf's heart bc she's the cutest

McShizzle: excuse you I have the cutest girlfriend

Perseaus: is this a bet, Valdez?

Calala: shut the fuck up both of you

Calala: but thanks babe

McShizzle: love u

Perseaus: also uhh Jason blocked me because I spammed him with Christmas memes but can someone tell him I say thank you for the Christmas gifts

Monarachel: on it

Monarachel: he says yw and that he'll unblock you because he's in a Christmas spirit

Perseaus: a Christmas miracle honestly

Monarachel: Nico and Will are making out under the mistletoe fuck

Perseaus: time to go separate them I don't want my sister walking into two dumbasses making out the family house

Calala: hasn't she walked into you and Anna making out before

Perseaus: no she hasn't because I'm a responsible big bro who makes sure she never sees any inappropriate things

McShizzle: responsible lad™️

Perseaus: please don't call me that ever again

McShizzle: ok you responsible lad

—

Wouldiwas: Nico you've been diagnosed with upsexy

Spooky scary skeletons: what

Wouldiwas: what do you mean what?

Spooky scary skeletons: what the fuck is upsexy

Wouldiwas: nothing what about you ;)

Spooky scary skeletons: oh my fucking gods

Wouldiwas: Santa's not gonna get you any presents because you swear too much

Spooky scary skeletons: he better get me

A fucking swear jar at least

Wouldiwas: sIGH why do I love you

Spooky scary skeletons: love you too

 **Im sorry i couldnt upload this sooner? i was feeling unmotivated and i had to meet up with too many people during and after christmas**


	39. Chapter 39

McShizzle: country road

McShizzle: take me home

Reyst in peace: shut the fuck up

McShizzle: first of all, mean

Monarachel: speaking of roads did you guys know that a road near my house is haunted

Smarter than you: what the,,,, fuck,,,,,,

Monarachel: three people were murdered there and I'm pretty sure I saw a ghost there twice

McShizzle: Rachel has gone mad: part 59

Monarachel: honestly not surprised I'm literally one of the only people who sees through the mist AND I randomly spew out future messages or smthng so that prolly means I'm a bit mad

Reyst in peace: why would you even live near a road like that?

Monarachel: ehh my apartment is cool and probably not haunted at least

Monarachel: but like it's a hundred years old so someone prolly died here

Monarachel: I think it's the old lady that "disappeared" from this apartment before me

McShizzle: what the actual fuck Rachel

Monarachel: I just rented it no questions asked tbh

Smarter than you: if a murderer showed up to kill you you'd prolly look them in the eyes and tell them to fuck off

Monarachel: honestly mood

Reyst in peace: hits them in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush

Monarachel: tHAT WAS ONE TIME

McShizzle: you hit,,, an all knowing titan,,, out to destroy the world,,, with a hairbrush

Monarachel: still saved us so ¯\\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

[McPiper is online]

McPiper: hey bitches I came here to tell you that today, jan/14/2019, Leonidas Valdez told me, and I quote, "Hamilton is overrated and not that good"

Smarter than you: FUCK OFF

Reyst in peace: you're wrong but go off ig

Monarachel: Leo what the fuck

McShizzle: FUCK PIPER THWYRE ALL OIT FOR MY ASS NOW

Smarter than you: Hamilton is the best musical, asshole

McShizzle: no it isn't Heathers was better

Monarachel: I mean true but Hamilton's still amazing

McShizzle: no it isn't it's just some dumb American dudes doing dumb American things

McPiper: wow I think you just described Jercy

Smarter than you: can the name jercy just die already

Reyst in peace: lmao someone's jealous

Smarter than you: SKSKSKSK SHUT UP

Smarter than you: NO IM NOT

McPiper: don't worry Anna ur bf's not gonna make out with my husband my husband's too occupied making out with Leo

McShizzle: nO

McPiper: I am literally the third wheel ouch

Monarachel: back to the topic Leo you're a dumbass with bad taste and Hamilton is god

Monarachel: good**

Monarachel: fuck

Reyst in peace: I mean all gods are assholes so I wouldn't be surprised if Hamilton's a god too

McPiper: oo tea

McShizzle: you know what isn't overrated

Smarter than you: eating ass

Monarachel: what the fuck Annabeth

Smarter than you: I don't know I'm tired

McShizzle: hi tired I'm Leo

McShizzle: I was going to say pizza isn't overrated and we should all go out to eat together today but I regret even being in this group chat right now so guess not

Reyst in peace: you're usually the loser sending in all the dumb shit why are YOU the one who regrets being part of the gc

McShizzle: because I just learned Annabeth likes eating Percy's ass and I hate that sksksksk

Smarter than you: oH

Monarachel: I mean that's honestly not that bad Piper literally described in details how good it was to lose her v card and we learned that she and Jason are into bdsm

McPiper: I said I was sorry :(

Reyst in peace: apology accepted

McShizzle: honestly? I kinda always had a feeling Jason was into bdsm

McShizzle: dk why lmao

McPiper: u prolly knew because y'all fucked at least once

McShizzle: WE DIDNT

McShizzle: I'm very loyal to my gf owo

Monarachel: and that gf is called Jason

McShizzle: NOOOOOOOOO STOP

Monarachel: why so defensive, Valdez? Is it because there IS something between you and Jason? ;)

McShizzle: NO

McShizzle: NO

McShizzle: NO

McShizzle: NO

Monarachel: if you say so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

McShizzle: s t o p

Smarter than you: this entire group chat is a fucking mess

Reyst in peace: agreed

 **A/N: i havent updated in so long skdkskskdj im sorry. currently at a really bad place mentally but will still put an effort to update this fic.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer: riordanverse aint mine. also uhh im not a toe sucker. also im sorry to the kid who said not to make this story kinky.**

 **this chapter is roughly 1k words of total bs. featuring ur favs percy leo thalia grover and hazel**

 **im also putting this story in wattpad since someone keeps telling me theyre reporting my story. username: gardnr. might also upload to ao3, who knows**

—

McShizzle: KINKY

Perseaus: ?

McShizzle: KINKY

Perseaus: ?

McShizzle: Y

Thalia Graceful: what the fuck Valdez

McShizzle: THE VIDEO IM WATCHING IS SO FUCKING KINKY

McShizzle: A GUY JUST ASKED ANOTHER DUDE TO SUCK HIS TOES

McShizzle: THIS IS SOME FOOT FETISH BS RIGHT HERE

Save the environment, fuckers: what the fuck Valdez

McShizzle: IDK IT WAS IN MY YOUTUBE RECOMMENDED FOR SOME REASON

Save the environment, fuckers: "for some reason"

Perseaus: link pls for scientific reasons

McShizzle: SKSKSKSKSKSKSK

Save the environment, fuckers: Percy bro I'm sorry but I think I just lost all respect I had for you

Perseaus: honestly fair

Thalia Graceful: oh em gee percy and Leo have a foot fetish

McShizzle: yea I suck Cal's feet

Perseaus: SKSKSKSK NO

Save the environment, fuckers: Leo honestly I have no idea whether you're serious or joking and that scares me a lot

McShizzle: u'll never know ;))

Thalia Graceful: Percy and Leo be like: *foot fetishist noises*

Perseaus: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

Save the environment, fuckers: I'm scared

McShizzle: hi scared I'm a foot fetishist ;)

Save the environment, fuckers: I'm glad I have hooves then

Thalia Graceful: LMAOO

Perseaus: what if someone told you they have six toes in each foot

McShizzle: all the more to suck uwu

Thalia Graceful: o h

Save the environment, fuckers: xD rAwR

Perseaus: no

Thalia Graceful: why are you so opposed to the idea aqua man are you trying to hide something ;)

Perseaus: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Perseaus: I have nothing to hide

Perseaus: except maybe the fact that I have a huge Cheetos bag that I bought a while ago cuz I know y'all are whores who're gonna eat my Cheetos the second y'all see them

McShizzle: GIVE ME THE CHEETOS

Perseaus: fuck off no

[McShizzle changed their username to foot fetish boy]

Save the environment, fuckers: wha tthe fvuck

Thalia Graceful: LMAOOO

Perseaus: CHANGE IT BACK

Foot fetish boy: not before you give me the Cheetos :(

Perseaus: so this is what this is about :((

Thalia Graceful: never fucking give him those Cheetos this is the best username ever what the fuck

Save the environment, fuckers: please just give him the godsdamn fucking Cheetos

Perseaus: fine

Perseaus: you win

Foot fetish boy: :))

Perseaus: this is why I was supposed to hide the fact that I have Cheetos

Thalia Graceful: too late baby boy

Perseaus: Piper's over my house and she says she's gonna pass by and give the Cheetos to you

Foot fetish boy: thank you owo

Perseaus: you don't deserve to type an owo

Thalia Graceful: Percy thats the biggest insult ever

Perseaus: he deserves it

Foot fetish boy: try me bitch I'll keep this username if you don't shut up

Perseaus: OK SORRY

Foot fetish boy: that's what I thought

[foot fetish boy changed their username to McShizzle]

Perseaus: thank gods

Thalia Graceful: :(

Perseaus: turn that frown upside down

Thalia Graceful: ):

Perseaus: fuck off

Thalia Graceful: :)

Save the environment, fuckers: hey guys who's watching b99 season 6

Thalia Graceful: umm everyone?

Perseaus: honestly Anna and I are sluts for that show we rewatched season 6 episode 1 at least 10 times already

McShizzle: cal is making me wait till all the episodes are released so we can binge watch it

Thalia Graceful: lmao I could never I spend like half my time just waiting for the show to come on

Perseaus: mood

[G(old) is online]

G(old): guys frank just broke his phone?

McShizzle: this babe's gonna go make a new one for praetor dude au revoir boys

G(old): no just fix the one he owns he says he doesn't wanna get a new one

Thalia Graceful: how did he break it?

G(old): he says he tried carrying it as a spider and it just fell?

Perseaus: I'm-

G(old): I don't think this is the first time either

G(old): Gods, I love this man

McShizzle: This is the first time I've ever seen someone say they love someone else because they broke a phone

Save the environment, fuckers: well honestly this is also the only person you saw who can shape shift into different animals so like the two come in a package i guess

Perseaus: why would he even do that sksksksksksk

Thalia Graceful: for the lols owo

G(old): owowowowowowowowo

G(old): uwu

G(old): ùwú

G(old): úwù

Perseaus: o3o

McShizzle: ò3ó

Thalia Graceful: ò~ó

[calala is online]

Calala: don't y'all have work

Perseaus: sksksk nice to talk to you too cal

Calala: hey babe pls go get us some milk and cereal I'm hungry

Thalia Graceful: hi hungry I'm dad

McShizzle: k love u cal

Calala: ilyt

[McShizzle is offline]

Calala: I've been lying in bed all day and I've thrown up at least twice and I have a weird cereal craving lately it's annoying

Perseaus: r u prego

G(old): Percy no

Calala: lmao no my period ended like two days ago the gods just hate me

Thalia Graceful: to be fair they hate this entire group chat so don't take their hatred too personally

Perseaus: tea

Save the environment, fuckers: the main reason the gods hate us is because we have two guys with foot fetishes in this group chat

Thalia Graceful: nah I'm pretty sure Zeus has a foot fetish too I saw my mom suck and kiss his toes once around the time my mom got pregnant with Jason

Perseaus: you know what,,,

Perseaus: for once I'm not even gonna ask

Save the environment, fuckers: glad to know Jason's the result of a foot fetish

Thalia Graceful: I love my half god half foot fetish brother


	41. Chapter 41

**I felt weird writing this chapter because a 12 year old asked me to keep this fanfic PG for her a couple of weeks ago.**

 **I'm so sorry random 12 year old sksksksk.**

 **Also forgot to thank clonetrooper8754 last chapter! Thank you for being so nice about me not being able to upload often.**

 **This chapter was supposed to be published only 1-6 days after the previous chapter, but i couldnt find the time and motivation to post this till now. sorry.**

 **Disclaimer: riordanverse not mine, also I don't have any kinks (atm) and I'm most definitely not a furry.**

—

[8:30am]

Perseaus: truth or dare part three

Goldfish: I didn't make Leo fix my phone for this

G(old): lets do it

McPiper: YES LETS PLAY

Smarter than you: Percy what's up with your obsession with truth or dare

Perseaus: it's an amazing game!

McShizzle: I second that

Monarachel: I third that

G(old): I fourth that

McPiper: i 5th that

Spooky scary skeletons: I don't sixth that

McShizzle: not surprised

Spooky scary skeletons: what's that supposed to mean

Perseaus: Mr Di Angelo-Solace turth or dare

Goldfish: "turth"

Smarter than you: turth

Monarachel: turth

Perseaus: shut up

Spooky scary skeletons: truth

Perseaus: rate me in a scale of one to five

Spooky scary skeletons: zero Leo t or d

G(old): wow Percy zero wasn't even in the scale yet you still managed

Perseaus: thank you hazel

McShizzle: I WOULD DO DARE BUT A FUCKING BITCH DARED ME TO PICK TRUTH WHEN WE WERE PLAYING IRL LAST WEEK

McPiper: owo

Spooky scary skeletons: ok then do you actually have a foot fetish

McShizzle: SKSKSKSKSKSSK

McShizzle: WHY

Goldfish: oh my gods

Smarter than you: less questions more answers, Valdez

McShizzle: my answer is that y'all have no business what I do in bed even if it's furry sex or toe sucking or voring

McPiper: wow I can't believe Valdez vored Calypso

Perseaus: are you stuffed or do you wanna vore more people

Monarachel: does swallowing people make you feel really really hot

McShizzle: yes it does and yes I do feel stuffed but if you're volunteering that I vore you Percy then I wouldn't complain

Spooky scary skeletons: look you didn't really answer my question properly but the vore jokes made me laugh so you can skip

McShizzle: good ok smarty truth or dare

Smarter than you: dare bitch

McShizzle: I dare you to send a photo of a list of all of Percy's kinks

[smarter than you sent a photo]

G(old): that just says "me"

Smarter than you: yeah because I make him horny

Perseaus: sksksksk you know me so well babe

Smarter than you: also he's into bondage but as long as I'm the one tying him up

McPiper: honestly not surprised

Perseaus: wow thanks babe

Smarter than you: no problem :)

Smarter than you: Hazel truth or dare

G(old): truth I guess?

Smarter than you: who's ur favorite person in this group chat

G(old): I would say all of you but if I'm being honest it's either Nico or Frank uwu

Spooky scary skeletons: thanks sis

Goldfish: love u

McShizzle: betrayal

G(old): sorry pls forgive

McShizzle: apology accepted

G(old): Rachel truth or dare?

Monarachel: dare owowowowowo

G(old): uwu

G(old): I dare you to send photos of your cats I miss them

Monarachel: dare accepted

[monarachel sent a photo]

[monarachel sent a photo]

[monarachel sent a photo]

[monarachel sent a photo]

[monarachel sent a photo]

Perseaus: CUTIESKDJFKSJFHJ

McPiper: missing them hours

McShizzle: loving them hours

Monarachel: smooching them hours

G(old): give each of them ten kisses from me pls

Monarachel: that's a double dare goldie but I like you so I'll do that for you

G(old): :)

Smarter than you: Rachel I'm coming over I wanna play w ur cats again

Monarachel: get ur cats with u they prolly miss them

Perseaus: when did we even start this cat play date stuff

Smarter than you: Gods I wish I knew

[G(old) is offline]

[Goldfish is offline]

McShizzle: betting time why are they both suddenly offline

McPiper: they're dating what bet is there

Spooky scary skeletons: nOOOOO they're just playing scrabble

Monarachel: keep telling yourself that

Perseaus: more like they're playing twisters under the sheets

Spooky scary skeletons: SHUT THE FUCK UP NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Smarter than you: I bet they're just playing with their pets tbh most people in this group chat are lazy fucks who can't have sex before 10am and it shows

McShizzle: stop calling us out Annabeth

Monarachel: tea

McPiper: why the fuck are we up so early oh my gods I'm gonna go back to sleep

[McPiper is offline]

McShizzle: honestly mood bye bye toe suckers

[McShizzle is offline]

Spooky scary skeletons: I haven't slept in 7 days

Smarter than you: what

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm four days away from unintentionally breaking the world record

Spooky scary skeletons: I have bags under my eyes

Spooky scary skeletons: I'm dying

Monarachel: I'm

Spooky scary skeletons: help

Perseaus: Nico truth or dare pls pick dare

Spooky scary skeletons: dare

Perseaus: I dare you to sleep

Spooky scary skeletons: bye bye fuckers

[spooky scary skeletons is offline]

Smarter than you: well that concludes part 3 of this mess of a game

Perseaus: hey Anna wanna go on a cute ass picnic lunch today I called in sick

Smarter than you: I would say you're a dumbass but ily and I wanna spend time with you so it's ok I'll call in sick too or something

Monarachel: tell them one of your pets died that always works for me

Perseaus: what the fuck

Smarter than you: "always"?

Monarachel: I may have used that same excuse three times but like they know I have like 5963 pets so they don't really ask many questions about that

Perseaus: wow okay

Smarter than you: you're a basket full of surprises Rachel

Monarachel: thank you owo

 **Since I'm in some weird inspiration block pls feel free to review with which characters you wanna see next and some ideas you guys would like in this story!**


	42. Chapter 42

i've been gone for so long, im so sorry! I've been working on other pieces I'm still debating whether or not I should publish (not all PJO but I wrote some PJO fanfiction too). I'm working on like, three chapters right now so I'll hopefully post a new chapter by the end of the week too.

this is a short chapter but i really like it i think.

disclaimer: dont own PJO

Bianca not here because she chose revival, and ik Luke did too but pretend like he didn't please.

—

[group chat: dead gang dead gang dead gang]

[members: Thanatos, Zoe nightshade, lukinator, beckendolphin, Charlena is canon, Pantastic, G(old), Ethan Nakamura, Octagon, Castororor, Fletcher boi, Sparky Sparky, McShizzle]

Castororor: I miss Polluuuuuuux

Octagon: you always miss Pollux shut up

Lukinator: lol ur opinion is invalid Octavian

Octagon: look who's talking dumbass

Sparky sparky: idk why I still have these "heavenly phones" I'm alive wtf

Octagon: so just give the phone back?

G(old): shut up Octassian ur entire existence is invalid

Castororor: OOOOOOH

Sparky sparky: nothing quite makes Hazel angry as much as Octavian

G(old): highly deserved anger

Octagon: shut up goldie

G(old): what an insult, Octassian

Octagon: stop calling me that

Castororor: go cry to mommy loser haha

Octagon: this is cyberbullying

Sparky sparky: aren't u in hell why r u texting us anyways

Octagon: I still have the power to piss people off and I'm gonna make everyone suffer with me

G(old): glad you know how annoying you truly are

Octagon: BITCH YOU SHOULDNT EVEN HAVE A PHONE

G(old): you shouldn't have rights

Octagon: says you

G(old): very creative insult octassian

Castororor: did Luke just die mid conversation

Castororor: haha

Castororor: haha

Castororor: ha

Lukinator: dont u hate me

Castororor: yes I do but I enjoy it when ur texting because I can tell you to piss off

Lukinator: anyways I have a lot of cool stuff to do goodbye

[Lukinator is offline]

Sparky sparky: he has nothing to do

Castororor: is Pollux doing fine

G(old): yea he's very happy n healthy!

Octagon: sadly

G(old): shut up bitch boy

Octagon: stop that

G(old): bitch boy bitch boy bitch boy

Octagon: I'm telling Hades

G(old): Do u really think the god of the underworld would take the side of some dumbass in hell over his actual daughter

Castororor: dead gang dead gang dead gang dead gang

Octagon: shut up that's cringey

Sparky sparky: ur existence is cringey

Octagon: ALL OF YOU SHUT UP THIS IS CYBERBULLYING

[Thanatos is online]

[Thanatos removed Octagon from the conversation]

Thanatos: I'll add him to the annoying dead people gc later

Thanatos: hi Hazel and Sparky

G(old): hello tell my dad I say hi

Thanatos: will do

[Thanatos is offline]

Castororor: anyways I miss Pollux but I don't want to see him bc then he'd be dead and that wouldn't be very cash money of him

Sparky sparky: wow okay

[Thanatos is online]

[Thanatos added Octagon]

[Thanatos is offline]

Octagon: Stole his phone

G(old): oh my gods

[beckendolphin is online]

Beckendolphin: guys my skeleton cat is so fuckin cute I love her

Beckendolphin: the only two girls I love are skelecat and Selina

Octagon: cats are ugly

Beckendolphin: offensive but okay

Castororor: send pics pls

[Beckendolphin sent 7 photos]

Sparky sparky: cutie

G(old): glad ur gf and cat and you are so happy Percy says he misses you

Beckendolphin: tell him I say I miss you too bro

Sparky sparky: is dying in an explosion painful

Beckendolphin: is water wet

G(old): yes

Castororor: no

Sparky sparky: what

Beckendolphin: yes it is Jason any form of death is at least a bit painful

Sparky sparky: you learn something new every day

Octagon: that should've been basic knowledge by now

Sparky sparky: shut up octagon

G(old): shut up octagon

Beckendolphin: shut up octagon

Castororor: shut up octagon

—

Perseaus: I have an announcement to make

Perseaus: some of yall are bout to get real mad at me but it must be said

Spooky scary skeletons: what

Perseaus: Be More Chill is better than any other musical and if you don't think so then you're wrong uwu

Wouldiwas: how could you say something so controversial yet so true

Spooky scary skeletons: wrong

Monarachel: Percy what the fuck I thought the two of us agreed that the best musical is Heathers

Perseaus: we were wrong, Rachel

Monarachel: Percy's canceled

Spooky scary skeletons: has been for a while but okay


	43. Chapter 43

For Ladyefriyeet

Disclaimer: i dont own the riordanverse

—

Thanatos: hello Perseus Jackson. It is time.

Perseaus: Hey bitch lol

Perseaus: it ain't my time yet

Thanatos: I've delayed your death for a decade bitch what the fuck do you want me to do now

Perseaus: lmao idk think of something the gods love making me do their work too much to actually let me die

Thanatos: lmao tea

Perseaus: death daddy with all due respect my dad will fucking murder you if you kill me lmao

Thanatos: okay then what should I do

Perseaus: come back when I'm 82 sweaty

Perseaus: my craving for death has passed I wanna live

Thanatos: I don't normally do this shit but ocean daddy would kill me so I'll let u live

Perseaus: no

Perseaus: ocean dad

Perseaus: dad

Perseaus: not daddy

Thanatos: if I can't kill you I might as well kill your sanity

Perseaus: bitch it just killed itself

Thanatos: bitch bye

Perseaus: BITCH

—

Thanatos: hey I'm bored lol still craving death?

Spooky scary skeletons: weirdly, no

Spooky scary skeletons: also don't you fucking get close to my fucking friends and husband you fucking thot

Thanatos: okay first of all rude

Thanatos: second of all I wasn't even planning on getting anywhere near your family bitch boy

Spooky scary skeletons: stfu thot go to hell

Thanatos: Nah ur dad sucks ass

Spooky scary skeletons: honestly can't argue with that

Spooky scary skeletons: okay now pls leave or I'm blocking u

Thanatos: you can't block death

[spooky scary skeletons blocked Thanatos]

—

Thanatos: Hades, king of the underworld, ruler of all the dead, may I request something?

Cerberus is better: bro drop the formality you haven't spoken like that to me since the thirteenth century

Thanatos: okay shit mate can you make your son unblock me he can't block death

Cerberus is better: lmao sounds like someone's annoyed my son managed to fuck with him

Thanatos: like ur one to talk

Cerberus is better: okay look I was gonna fight you but tbh true

Cerberus is better: okay fine I'll talk to him buddy

—

Cerberus is better: hey bro please unblock Thanatos he doesn't like being blocked

Spooky scary skeletons: you're literally my dad you don't have bro privileges

Cerberus is better: can you please unblock Thanatos, son

Spooky scary skeletons: fine

—

[spooky scary skeletons unblocked thanatos]

Spooky scary skeletons: I swear to god if you piss me off one more time I'll block again

Thanatos: fine I was just bout to leave

Spooky scary skeletons: ur mom gay

Thanatos: SHUTUP

—

Thanatos: hello Frank.

Goldfish: oh shit oh fuck am I gonna die

Thanatos: oh no I wanted to ask if the basket of cookies I sent for your girlfriend has arrived yet?

Goldfish: oh yeah thanks for those

Thanatos: yeah I got bored and baked them and had too many to deal with yknow? And now I have another three dozens so want a couple of more?

Goldfish: oh no my girlfriend says she's on a diet

Thanatos: can you ask Percy?

Goldfish: he says he'll have some if they're blue

Thanatos: fine

Goldfish: just tasted one they're really good!

Thanatos: thank you I worked really hard on those!

—

Monarachel: pussy boy change your username

Thanatos: HEY

Monarachel: yeah hi whatever change your username

Thanatos: not what I meant but go off I guess

Thanatos: also why

Monarachel: it's too fucking boring do it

Thanatos: well fine give me a username idea

Monarachel: umm

Thanatos: wait I know

[Thanatos changed their username to thanatoes]

Monarachel: what the fuck

Thanatoes: what is that not what you meant

[monarachel blocked thanatoes]

—

Thanatoes: hello Chiron

Horse dad: hello Thanatos

Horse dad: is there anything you want?

Thanatoes: I was wondering if you can make the oracle unblock me

Horse dad: Sorry Thanatos but it's her decision whether she blocks you or not

Thanatoes: well fuck

—

my BMC obsession is getting worse by the day that musical is the shit


	44. Chapter 44

**Ah! It's been a year since I started writing this fic. I can't believe it's so old already! I wanted to thank everyone for following and reviewing and favouriting this silly doc that I decided to write at 4am while stressed about finals. I never expected it to get this much attention when I started out. If you go to the first few chapters, you can find out I wanted to end it at chapter 13! I'm so glad I didn't and I'm so happy you guys like this silly fic as much as I do. Thank you guys again! Whether you've been here since day one or if you just recently came across this fic, I love you a lot!**

 **disclaimer: i dont own the riordanverse or the song mentioned**

 **—**

Perseaus: guys

Save the environment, fuckers: yes?

Perseaus: Annabeth and I were visiting her family

Smarter than you: I'm literally dating a dumbass

Perseaus: and one of her brothers came up to me and asked me about this wild chemistry formula he's taking

Perseaus: and I realised I literally forgot everything I took in school

Reyst in peace: haha dumbass

Perseaus: all I remember is that the mitochondria is the power house of the cell

McShizzle: mood

Smarter than you: that's WRONG

Save the environment, fuckers: what?

Smarter than you: The mitochondrion is the power house of the cell. The mitochondriA ARE the power houseS of the cell.

Smarter than you: if that's the only thing you remember from school then I'm sorry but ur wrong babe

Perseaus: shit

McShizzle: fuck ur right

Smarter than you: Percy's blasting "What is love" at full volume now to deal with the pain of knowing that he's a dumbass

Save the environment, fuckers: WHAT IS LOVE

McShizzle: BABY DONT HURT ME

Perseaus: BABY DONT HURT ME NO MORE

Reyst in peace: Some day humans will once again be capable of hearing the phrase "what is love" without responding with "baby dont hurt me"

McShizzle: so you're saying

Reyst in peace: dont you dare make a pun

McShizzle: people will say

Reyst in peace: dont you fucking dare Valdez

McShizzle: "baby don't hurt me"...no more?

Reyst in peace: goodbye

[reyst in peace is offline]

Smarter than you: oh my fucking gods

Perseaus: SKSKSKSJSKSK

[Monarachel is online]

Smarter than you: I have that dumb song stuck in my head now thanks babe

Perseaus: yw

Monarachel: guys I can't breathe in the same elevator as other people bc I fucking hate breathing in the same air as others

Save the environment, fuckers: mood

Monarachel: my friend asked me what's wrong and I told her I prefer when people aren't breathing

Monarachel: my friend thinks I'm planning another murder

Smarter than you: another

McShizzle: another

Perseaus: another

Save the environment, fuckers: another

Monarachel: another indeed

Smarter than you: just hold your breath for the elevator ride I'm sure it's not that long

Monarachel: from ground floor to the 14th floor

McShizzle: Rachel where the fuck are you

Monarachel: Heaven

Save the environment, fuckers: "easier said than done" is there anything that's easier done than said

Perseaus: don't go all philosophical on us bro

Smarter than you: silence is easier done than said

McShizzle: that makes no sense

Smarter than you: does too

McShizzle: does not

Smarter than you: does too

Save the environment, fuckers: guys what if one day you just woke up as an almond and you couldn't scream or do anything about it you're just a fucking almond

Perseaus: are you okay

Save the environment, fuckers: no

 **—**

[private conversation between Perseaus and Spooky Scary Skeletons]

Perseaus: Hey Nico

Spooky scary skeletons: yeah

Perseaus: if you for whatever reason suddenly gain godlike powers that make you have total control over the universe, what's the first thing you'd do?

Spooky scary skeletons: get rid of carbon

Perseaus: the chemical element upon which all lifeforms are formed?

Spooky scary skeletons: that's the bitch


	45. Chapter 45

**So much happened since I last updated! Long story short, i got into more fandoms, restarted working on some hobbies, heard a ballistic missile (im fine though), celebrated an important event for my country, and rediscovered how amazing VPN is.**

 **disclaimer: i dont own the riordanverse.**

 **—**

Perseaus: guys I'm gonna meet my half sister for the first time today skskskskssk

Spooky scary skeletons: chill dude she's like, 15 years old

Perseaus: I know but I'm nervous Nico :(

Perseaus: weren't you nervous when you met Lily

Spooky scary skeletons: no I wasn't nervous meeting Lily because I'm not a pussy

Perseaus: shut up :(((

Spooky scary skeletons: also she's like still really young so there's nothing to worry bout lol

Smarter than you: I promise you it isn't that scary babe half siblings are chill

Perseaus: she's a lesbian so can I show her a photo of you so we can bond over how beautiful and amazing you are?

Smarter than you: very flattering but that's not how this works

Smarter than you: also I met her already

Perseaus: you WHAT

Smarter than you: Remember how I went to camp last weekend? I met Christine then but forgot to tell you and she's really chill yknow

Perseaus: wow thanks

Spooky scary skeletons: guys I'm at camp with Percy and Lily just showed up and told me she has a boyfriend she's like 12 do kids date this early

Smarter than you: yes lmao

Smarter than you: when I was 12 I started crushing on Percy but didn't want to ask him out

Perseaus: lol you had a crush on me? Embarrassing

Smarter than you: we're literally dating

Perseaus: still

[McPiper is online]

McPiper: GUYS HELP

McPiper: my half brother Michael is getting married this weekend and I was going to get a plus one because I hate going to weddings alone but I just remembered that Jason has work this weekend and he can't skip and one of you have to come with

McPiper: Michael's husband to be is really nice btw I'm really glad Michael found such a cool guy

Spooky scary skeletons: Will's sick and I have to take care of his dumb ass so I can't

Perseaus: I'm babysitting my sister sorry Pipes

McPiper: ur sister's like 15 and she's in camp

Smarter than you: piper,,,, bro,,,,,,,,,, did you forget that Percy has two half sisters

Perseaus: I have another sister somehow

Perseaus: mom also decided to give birth to another kid cool

Smarter than you: I'm free if you want

McPiper: Marry me

Smarter than you: nah I'm waiting for someone else to ask me that

Perseaus: what

Smarter than you: I said what I said babe

Spooky scary skeletons: Will is so fucking dumb he just spilt all the soup I made and now he's tearing up

Spooky scary skeletons: I love this dumbass so much and I'm gonna go make more soup

McPiper: aww

Perseaus: Guys shit she's here

Perseaus: oh my god she's so cool already

Perseaus: shes wearing a be more chill sweatshirt I fucking love her goodbye

[Perseaus is offline]

Smarter than you: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah he either can't take the hint or he doesn't want to take the hint

McPiper: lmao prolly a mixture of the two

Spooky scary skeletons: Percy's gonna bond with his sister over ur prettiness and be more chill that's it

Smarter than you: that's why I love Percy lol

Spooky scary skeletons: because he's a dumbass?

Smarter than you: exactly

[Perseaus is online]

Perseaus: I'm still here yknow

Smarter than you: love you baby

Perseaus: love you more smart girl

[Perseaus is offline]

McPiper: don't steal my uwu's like that

Smarter than you: sorry can't give them back no refunds

McPiper: no refunds my ass you didn't even buy them you fucking thief

Smarter than you: :)

Spooky scary skeletons: guys where the fuck is Hozier I want more of his music

McPiper: no one picked him up from church

Smarter than you: he only asked to be taken to church, not picked up. If he didn't plan a way home he should have been more specific

—

[private conversation between Perseaus and Smarter Than You]

Perseaus: she's really cool

Perseaus: and funny and chill

Perseaus: and she says if she weren't a minor and if I weren't dating you she would've been up for a hookup

Smarter than you: oh wow okay

Perseaus: don't tell her I told you that I promised not to tell

Smarter than you: I make no promises

Perseaus: well fuck

Smarter than you: Love you babe

Perseaus: love you more :)


	46. Chapter 46

**Anyways since apparently people under 13 read this sometimes:**

 ** _WARNING_** **: mentions of boobs and mentions of pornography websites**

 **Anyways the first half of this is based off conversations with my friends but changing it up a bit.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the riordanverse**

 **—**

Thalia Graceful: okay guys I found a link to a Dear Evan Hansen bootleg but here's the thing

Sparky sparky: what?

Thalia Graceful: it's on pornhub

Perseaus: KSJSKSKS WHAT THE FUCK THALS

Thalia Graceful: HEY SOMEONE SENT IT TO ME I DONT KNOW

Smarter than you: so you decided to just open a pornhub link some random person on the internet decided to send you because you wanted a Dear Evan Hansen bootleg

Thalia Graceful: um

Thalia Graceful: yes

Perseaus: watch it it's full screen 780p and has no ads

Sparky sparky: what about all of the anime boob ads

Thalia Graceful: sexy anime cat girl

Smarter than you: no

Thalia Graceful: I'm sorry

Perseaus: hi sorry I'm dad

Sparky sparky: are you trying to tell us Annabeth is pregnant

Perseaus: WHAT NO

[McShizzle is online]

McShizzle: anime boobs so big you can call them the boobonic plague

Perseaus: hi! I didn't ask for this!

[Smarter than you removed McShizzle from the group chat]

Smarter than you: anyways where were we

Perseaus: guys is Grover technically a furry

Sparky sparky: bro,

Smarter than you: Percy I swear to the fucking gods if you ever say that again

Perseaus: you wouldn't do anything because you love me

Smarter than you: shut up

Smarter than you: I'm gonna block Leo if he doesn't stop begging me to add him back this is his fault

Thalia Graceful: I'm gonna go watch HD Dear Evan Hansen with no ads goodbye fuckers

[Thalia Graceful is offline]

Sparky sparky: he's starting to message me too I'm gonna add him again

Smarter than you: okay fine

[sparky sparky added McShizzle]

McShizzle: the year is 9, some dude touched cow boobs, and oh boy he's about to invent cereal

Smarter than you: I beg your pardon?

McShizzle: beg

[smarter than you removed McShizzle from the group chat]

Sparky sparky: did you know there's a lesbian couple in Good Luck Charlie

Perseaus: wow okay we're just gonna change the topic

Sparky sparky: I don't want to debate whether Grover is a furry thank you very much

Perseaus: NO BUT SERIOUSLY HES HALF GOAT

Smarter than you: Babe I'm going to remove you from this group chat the same way I removed Leo

Perseaus: who decided to give her admin controls

Sparky sparky: Calypso did last week

Perseaus: gods damnit cal

[Sparky sparky added McShizzle]

Smarter than you: don't you dare say any more of your weird boob jokes

Smarter than you: ugh I've had bad baby fever for the last week I want a baby

Perseaus: I'm babey

Smarter than you: no

Sparky sparky: Anna can you literally just tell the dude he's not gonna get any brighter

Smarter than you: I'll wait a bit longer

Perseaus: what

Smarter than you: nothing babe

McShizzle: guys

McShizzle: I just burned someone's dick

Sparky sparky: LEO WHST THE FUCJ

Smarter than you: drugs? Is that what you're on?

Perseaus: KSFJKSFJSJFJSFJ

McShizzle: LOOK HE WAS JUST THERE AND HE WAS CHILLING AND MY HAND ACCIDENTALLY BRUSHED IT AND OF COURSE IT DECIDED TO HEAT UP THEN AND HIS PANTS BURNED IN THE CROTCH AREA

Sparky sparky: Leo what the fuck

McShizzle: I have two braincells leave me alone

Perseaus: two braincells discrimination

Smarter than you: you all have zero fucking braincells

McShizzle: you stole all of the brain cells

Smarter than you: maybe that's why you fucking burned a dude's pants in the crotch area today but okay

McShizzle: oUCH

Perseaus: yes bab

Sparky sparky: Leo did you apologise

McShizzle: I did and went to my room to cry

McShizzle: I'm so glad he's a demigod I would've felt so much more embarrassed trying to explain this to a normal human

Perseaus: I wonder how the mist would change THAT

McShizzle: death

McShizzle: anyways I'm gonna go cry remember to always strive to eat the stars and to get eight hours of water or else I'm gonna burn your crotch

[McShizzle is offline]

Perseaus: aren't the stars too hot though

Sparky sparky: blow on them first idiot

Smarter than you: Gods you all really do need more braincells

—

 **Should I rate this story as M just in case or should I leave it as T? Top ten unanswered questions.**


	47. Chapter 47

**Okay this chapter is super short but a part of it is gonna be kinda important in the last two chapters.**

 **Also can you guys believe i'm almost done writing this? I've planned the last three chapters and am writing two of them in the same time and it's super cute n shit. im so happy i started writing this and i'll miss writing it.**

 **Special thanks to the people who reviewed to me last chapters. Your reviews genuinely made me smile, especially the person who said they didn't check whether the story's finished. That review actually made me laugh.**

 **[disclaimer: i dont own the riordanverse]**

—

Save the environment, fuckers: PERCY

Save the environment, fuckers: ANNABETH TOLD ME YOURE AWAKE NOW

[Perseaus is online]

Perseaus: lmao hi

G(old): you lost a lot of blood while fighting a monster and passed out. Do you remember anything?

Perseaus: i remember the ambulance ride to the hospital

Smarter than you: that wasnt an ambulance, i drove you

Perseaus: but i remember a siren

Spooky scary skeletons: that was Grover

Perseaus: im

Save the environment, fuckers: I was WORRIED

Perseaus: lol dont worry anymore im fine

G(old): thank gods

Spooky scary skeletons: welcome back dumbass

Perseaus: WAIT IM NOT FINE WHAT THE FUCK

Smarter than you: i go out of his hospital room for FIVE minutes

Smarter than you: omw back

Perseaus: no it's okay stay

Perseaus: BUT I DECIDE TO DIE FOR ONLY A FEW DAYS AND I COME BACK TO FIND OUT THE PROM AND BE MORE CHILL ARE BOTH CLOSING WHAT THE FUCK

G(old): oh yeah thats so sad :(

Perseaus: AND A WEEK BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY TOO

Spooky scary skeletons: dude thats sad and all but you almost died

Perseaus: yeah boohoo i experienced major blood loss i need to go watch be more chill and the prom again

Perseaus: Wise girl im ordering Be More Chill tickets for July 16 is that okay w you

Smarter than you: yknow what fine i wanna meet Stephanie Hsu

Perseaus: YES

Spooky scary skeletons: anyways Percy are you sure youre doing okay

Perseaus: yup i feel pretty freaking legendary

Perseaus: just have a bunch of tubes stuck in my body for some reason

Spooky scary skeletons: please dont remove them

Perseaus: hehehehehehe my brain really wants me to remove them

G(old): DONT

Perseaus: okay fine

Save the environment, fuckers: please dont die

Perseaus: i wont, furry

Save the environment, fuckers: i changed my mind go rot in hell

G(old): Frank and Nico and I are on our way to visit

Perseaus: it's like, 11pm guys go to sleep you start work at 10am

G(old): noooo we're on our way

Save the environment, fuckers: im coming over too and i'll get you your black nail polish

Perseaus: aww you really are my best bro dude

Save the environment, fuckers: im glad the black nail polish is the reason we're best bros

Perseaus: indeed it is

[Perseaus is offline]

Smarter than you: Percy just fell asleep but youre all still welcome to come

G(old): whats his favourite type of flowers

Save the environment, fuckers: seaweed

Smarter than you: thats an alga

Spooky scary skeletons: what the fuck is an alga

Smarter than you: algae? You dont know algae?

G(old): ALGAE ARE CALLED ALGA

Smarter than you: yeah thats the singular form

Save the environment, fuckers: isnt Alga a girls' name

G(old): no youre thinking of Olga

Spooky scary skeletons: Alga was the name of an island in Italy i think

Smarter than you: did any of you go to school what the fuck

Save the environment, fuckers: not really

Spooky scary skeletons: never focused

G(old): i have Dori the fish memory

Smarter than you: wow okay

G(old): but what the hell is Percy's favourite type of flowers

Smarter than you: daisies

Spooky scary skeletons: basic bitch

Save the environment, fuckers: im getting him a million daisies

Smarter than you: please dont

—

Wouldiwas: did you eat the last cookie

Spooky scary skeletons: yeah

Spooky scary skeletons: whatre you gonna do about it

Wouldiwas: my mom always told me if i have nothing nice to say i should say nothing at all

Wouldiwas: but shes not here and youre a WEENIE

—

 **Will try to publish the next chapter on my birthday**


	48. Chapter 48

**Short chapter based off tumblr posts i like, next chapter is gonna be longer i think**

 **Disclaimer: i wish i owned the riordanverse but currently i do not own it**

—

Perseaus: FREEZE! THIS IS THE BEAUTIFUL POLICE!

Smarter than you: what

Perseaus: YOURE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING BEAUTIFUL! WE'RE TAKING YOU THE FUCK IN!

Smarter than you: well i never thought i'd see the day where a policeman would commit a crime

Perseaus: omg

Perseaus: babe

Perseaus: im blushing

Smarter than you: :)

Thalia Graceful: you two are legally obliged to stop this right now

Perseaus: in other news my sister just cried for ten minutes because she says shes scared of growing up and when i asked her why she said it's because she doesnt wanna like coffee

Thalia Graceful: valid reason coffee SUCKS ASS

McShizzle: fuck you and your leaf water

Thalia Graceful: at least i dont drink bean water

Wouldiwas: guys

Wouldiwas: guys

Wouldiwas: guys

McShizzle: what

Wouldiwas: guys

Smarter than you: yeah?

Wouldiwas: area 51 raid

McShizzle: YES

Thalia Graceful: LETS DO IT BOYS

Perseaus: BROS

Perseaus: i cant believe we're all going to area 51 to free the aliens

Thalia Graceful: i swear to gods if we go there and find out it's just more godly bullshit

Smarter than you: honestly scared for the people who're gonna take the area 51 memes seriously

Wouldiwas: valid have a nice day

McShizzle: did i tell you guys im gonna work in starbucks for a while

Wouldiwas: thats cool

McShizzle: i cant wait till i start working at starbucks because im going to spell everyone's name wrong so they cant instagram their cups

Wouldiwas: are you satan

Thalia Graceful: are you god

Perseaus: are we humans

Wouldiwas: or are we dancer

Thalia Graceful: is this the real life

Wouldiwas: or is this just fantasy

McShizzle: no this is patrick

Smarter than you: hey what the FUCK is going on

Smarter than you: i'll have whatever this entire group chat is on

Perseaus: im high on looooove baby

Smarter than you: aww

Perseaus: i love you so much wise girl

Smarter than you: i love you more seaweed brain

Perseaus: no i love you more

Smarter than you: no i love you more

Thalia Graceful: stop being mushy and cute this second

McShizzle: if pinnochio said "my nose will grow this second" what would happen

Perseaus: the word "nun" is just the letter n doing a back flip

Wouldiwas: surgery is just stabbing someone back to life

Smarter than you: if you sweat in a sweater doesnt that make you the sweater

McShizzle: if you wear cowboy clothes does that make you ranch dressing

Thalia Graceful: i hate you all bye

[Monarachel is online]

Monarachel: GUYS IM CRYING WE WERE PLAYING TWISTER AND KATIE GARDNER WAS THE SPINNER AND MID GAME SHE JUST GOES "im sure hope im calling these right" AND THEN EVERYONE IN THE ROOM SIMULTANEOUSLY REMEMBERED KATIE IS COLOUR BLIND

McShizzle: LMAOO

Perseaus: H

Perseaus: How could u forget

Monarachel: I DONT KNOW DUDE WE ALL SHARE EXACTLY TWO BRAINCELLS

Thalia Graceful: wait you have two

Perseaus: i was talking about Frankenstein's monster and a person told me Frankenstein in the doctor not the monster first of all that bitch was a college dropout so don't you 'doctor' me

Smarter than you: that was the first intelligent message you sent

Perseaus: and the last if i have any say in it

McShizzle: mister Frankenstein

Wouldiwas: the only reason he didnt get his medical license revoked for unethical experiments on cadavers was because he dropped out of college to do unethical experiments on cadavers

Monarachel: my last braincell just died

Thalia Graceful: RIP

McShizzle: beauty and the beast but reversed i kiss the love of my life and she turns into a sick fucking monster and it's awesome

Perseaus: shrek

McShizzle: never mind group chat cancelled

—

[8:02am, Private conversation between Monarachel and Perseaus]

Perseaus: i wish it was the seventeenth century so i cood spelle words howe everr my harte desyred

Monarachel: thou canst spelle wyrdd howevere thou liekest alraedye if thou isntst a couweurde

Perseaus: o sheet thou istsd ryt


	49. Chapter 49

**Before the last chapter aaaaaaaah! Tomorrow i'll be publishing chapter fifty and that's it! I was planning on making it sad at the beginning but halfway through writing the story i decided heck no this happy fic deserves a happy ending.**

 **Thank you to everyone who's read this fic! It means the world to me that this story managed to get a hundred follows and almost 200 reviews! I'll be thanking you all properly next chapter which i'll be posting soon.**

 **Disclaimer: i dont own the riordanverse**

—

Thalia Graceful: I want to die I was at the dollar store and I got an orange Gatorade and went "sexy boy" because I thought no one was around but I was wrong and the dude next to me went "what the fuck bro"

Reyst in peace: my question is why you called an orange Gatorade "sexy boy"

Thalia Graceful: because any other Gatorade sucks ass

Smarter than you: not the answer we were looking for but okay

Perseaus: I literally saw no problem with that for a second lmao

Perseaus: I call my plants sexy all the time without even questioning it

Thalia Graceful: no sanity gang

Perseaus: yes

Reyst in peace: Why do I hang out with either of you guys

Thalia Graceful: because you love meeeeeeeeeeee

Reyst in peace: somehow

Perseaus: and because I'm so unbelievably good looking

Reyst in peace: no that's not it

Smarter than you: I beg to differ

Perseaus: UwU my gf is also very good looking

Perseaus: she's perfect looking

Smarter than you: and my boyfriend is a sappy piece of shit but I love him

Perseaus: OwO

Reyst in peace: this conversation started with orange Gatorade and Thalia being weird how did this escalate so quickly

Thalia Graceful: keep the flirting for private DMs fuckers

Smarter than you: anyways can you guys recommend books that made you cry I wanna read a sad book

Perseaus: new general mathematics

Smarter than you: I'm no longer taking recommendations from Percy

Thalia Graceful: Percy's diary

Perseaus: WHAT

Smarter than you: I'm no longer taking recommendations from Percy and Thalia

Reyst in peace: Calculus 1

Smarter than you: I'm no longer taking recommendations

Thalia Graceful: anyways what the fuck are you guys doing i want to meet up with one of you shits

Reyst in peace: very charming

Thalia Graceful: i know

Smarter than you: Seaweed brain and I are watching Be More Chill in like ten minutes

Thalia Graceful: broadway bois

Perseaus: yeet

Reyst in peace: didnt you watch it two weeks ago

Perseaus: the more times the better

Perseaus: i cant wait to see Will Roland again i saw him twice in be more chill and once in dear evan hansen and hes v chill

Smarter than you: he has a crush on him

Perseaus: I DO NOT

Smarter than you: babe im dating you i know when you get celebrity crushes

Perseaus: okay fine

Smarter than you: and i dont mind because i have a celebrity crush on Stephanie Hsu so we're all winners today

Thalia Graceful: thats so valid dude

Reyst in peace: Thals wanna meet up

Thalia Graceful: ooo yes

Thalia Graceful: can we go to the cinema im bored

Reyst in peace: okay sure but youre paying for popcorn

Thalia Graceful: i have a pocket full of money n im ready to go

Thalia Graceful: i also have my good ol sexy boy

Reyst in peace: okay i regret telling you we're going out

Perseaus: GUYS GUYS GUUS ITS GONNA START

Thalia Graceful: yes i indeed am a guus

Reyst in peace: wasnt that one of Cinderella's mice

Perseaus: BROADWAY TIME BABEY

Perseaus: GOOD FUCKING BYE

[Perseaus is offline]

Smarter than you: it didn't start yet Percy's looking at the band

Thalia Graceful: guys who gave me admin controls

Reyst in peace: Calypso

Thalia Graceful: im gonna remove half of you and call myself Thanos

Smarter than you: dont you dare

Reyst in peace: remove me first

Thalia Graceful: H

Smarter than you: goodbye fuckers it's broadway time

Thalia Graceful: have fun bab!

Smarter than you: will do uwu

—

Save the environment, fuckers: have any of you ever woken up pre-sad? Like,, there's no reason to be sad you just are?

Spooky scary skeletons: yeah my therapist says it's depression


	50. Chapter 50

_[AUGUST 5 2019 - continuation of last chapter]_

[smarter than you sent a photo]

Spooky scary skeletons: is that an engagement ring?

Perseaus: maybe ;)

Monarachel: AAAAAAAAH!

Save the environment, fuckers: my multiple years of third wheeling have finally paid off

Thalia Graceful: Im? Crying?

Spooky scary skeletons: shit i owe Travis 20 bucks

Perseaus: Is literally everyone making bets on wise girl and my relationship

Thalia Graceful: yea

Spooky scary skeletons: yup

Monarachel: one hundred percent

Save the environment, fuckers: yes

Perseaus: i dont even have the heart to feel offended rn im just really happy

Smarter than you: aww babe :)

Thalia Graceful: you guys i cant believe it youre finally getting married

Monarachel: wait did you propose after watching a fucking musical

Perseaus: M

Perseaus: Maybe?

Save the environment, fuckers: thats a god tier wedding proposal

Monarachel: if no one proposes to me outside a broadway theatre then i dont want them

Spooky scary skeletons: Rachel you literally cant even get married

Monarachel: shit ur right

Thalia Graceful: i feel so old now the scared tiny little seven year old girl i met is in her mid twenties and is getting married

Smarter than you: aaaaaaah stop my heart's already melted enough

Spooky scary skeletons: only Percy has the ability to make Annabeth not scary

Smarter than you: i could choke anyone with nothing but a wedding dress dont let my softened heart fool you

Monarachel: going full Amy Santiago on us

Perseaus: AAAAAAAAAAH we're getting married 92;'eofkdkgkd&:£(/&,930/'cns

Thalia Graceful: percy fucking DIED

Smarter than you: he better not have i need to marry him first

Monarachel: all the hinting paid off

Perseaus: w

Perseaus: what

Perseaus: what hinting

Spooky scary skeletons: you cant be that oblivious

Smarter than you: i've been trying to make you find out i want you to propose for the past couple of months now

Perseaus: WHAT HOW

Save the environment, fuckers: last week she pointed at a couple having a wedding photo shoot, looked you directly IN THE EYES and went "hey seaweed brain when are we gonna be in their places"

Perseaus: i thought she meant she wanted to visit the garden they were taking photos in front of

Monarachel: bruh,,,,

Perseaus: IN MY DEFENSE IT'S A REALLY PRETTY GARDEN

Spooky scary skeletons: around two weeks ago when we went to Piper's half sister's wedding she literally went "gods i wish i could go wedding dress shopping dont you think"

Perseaus: THE MUSIC WAS LOUD I DIDNT HEAR WHAT SHE SAID :(

Monarachel: literally yesterday she pointed at her finger and went "hey you know what would look good here a ring"

Perseaus: didnt she just want new accessories skfjskfksjfjdgjdjfjdj

Smarter than you: oh my gods

Smarter than you: im just happy im gonna marry the love of my life now

Perseaus: aww babe

Smarter than you: you know what would be a great idea

Smarter than you: spring wedding

Perseaus: nooo we should have a Fall wedding

Smarter than you: spring weddings are prettier though

Thalia Graceful: how could you say something so controversial yet so true

Save the environment, fuckers: how could you say something so WRONG

Perseaus: details can be made later right now i just wanna cuddle my wife to be

Thalia Graceful: im giving you three "flirting and/or mushiness in gc" passes for your wedding and you just used your first one

Smarter than you: i've only been engaged for an hour and i already cant wait to spend the rest of my life happily with you

Perseaus: i cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you either :)

save the environment, fuckers: they babey

spooky scary skeletons: damn thats pretty sweet ig

—

Wouldiwas: early to bed early to rise

Wouldiwas: burger king meal with burger king fries

McShizzle: late to rise late to bed

McShizzle: burger king burger in burger king bread

McPiper: Eat at morning eat at night i participate in a burger king fight

McShizzle: epic gamer moment

Spooky scary skeletons: i slap my ass i slap my thighs tonight is the night the Burger King dies

G(old): NOOOOOOOOO

—

 **A/N: thats it! it's finished! my longest silliest dumbest most chaotic fic that i adore. i had the idea for this chapter ever since chapter 13, before that i wanted a sad ending because i was bored but i felt this was a better way to end this! soft ending for a soft fic. i hope you guys liked this story, and i'm so thankful for all the people who read this and all the people who reviewed and favorited and followed! i never thought this story would get this much feedback. i love this fic a whole lot, i love rereading it when i need to feel better, and i can't believe so many people love it as much as i do. im publishing this story on wattpad too and maybe even ao3 so it spreads more. again, thank you guys so much and i hope you enjoyed this long read! my social media is in my account's description if any of you ever want to message me. love you all** **and hope you all have a great day, week, month, year, life!**


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